Monday, February 28, 2011

that fat cat

There is a spring in my step today. My world seems a little brighter. Things seem a little better. Why, you ask? I know this sounds just ridiculous, but it is because the cat we were fostering is now back in his real home. Praise heaven.


But really, you ask, how can you be so pleased with the departure of a cat? Let me tell you the tale...
  • It all started in April 2010 when a friend of my dad's, who was living in Utah, was getting divorced. She needed to travel the country (and world, evidently) to "find herself" and figure out where she wanted to land. Would we be a home for her cat while she tried to work things out? I didn't think it would be that big of a deal, so we said sure. She even had a job opportunity in Seattle so she'd be driving up here to chase it and could drop the cat off. That worked out well.

  • When we agreed to take Stidean (we got him the first weekend in May), we understood it was temporary "with the possibility" of being permanent if either parties desired it. That seemed fine. We didn't really want a second cat, but maybe it would be fun? Getting used to everything was tough at first. He barfed a lot. He hissed and swatted at Gabby. She got over him way before he got over her. They finally became friends maybe 3 months later?


  • Our first sign of trouble was at the end of the summer, in August, when he started itching and scratching... a lot. He had four or five open oozing bloody wounds on his head and neck. It was disgusting and weird! His owner had him on a "vet plan" at a nationwide vet (Banfield at PetsMart), so we took him in. He needed an antibiotic shot, some funky cream for the wounds, and a "cone of shame." I don't know what was worse: the cream or the cone. The cream was gross, and applying it to his wounds twice a day (with gloves on) wasn't fun, and the whole area was oozy and sticky so I ended up taking an ACE bandage and wrapping it around his neck under the cone for a week. The cone itself was awful, because we had to take the lid off our litter box for him to use it. And he'd get all disoriented and basically scoop up mounds of litter in the cone (like a shovel) and get it EVERYWHERE. I found poop turds on the floor. He'd step in his own poo. And then he couldn't clean himself (the cone was intended to keep his paws away from his face so he couldn't scratch, with the side effect that it kept his tongue away from everything as well), so I had to use some waterless shampoo and clean him twice a week. And he hated that, too. Believe me, I didn't particularly enjoy it either.


  • The wounds got better, but not 100%. The vets kept trying "different things" to see what was causing them. In one visit, they convinced me to put him on hypoallergenic food (because the scratching was a symptom of an allergic reaction). That meant I had to wean him completely off the food we were using, buy some expensive food and get him to eat it, and keep him separated from Gabby so he did not eat a single morsel of her food thereby defeating the entire purpose of having him eat hypoallergenic. In another visit, they told me I needed to clean his ears once a week. They demonstrated. I did it once at home. Not pretty. They convinced me to keep flea meds on him all the time (even though he nor Gabby had fleas, but maybe a flea jumped on him, bit, and jumped off). I had to make a habit of clipping his toenails. When his hygiene got really bad, I gave him a bath. Even his owner said she had never ever given him a bath. I did. And I won. Although he put up a good fight.

  • In all, I had been to the vet at least 4 or 5 times so far. Then I decided the cone was just more trouble than it was worth, so I tried some kitty booties. The vet had suggested them once. I got a pair made for tiny dogs, with rubber soles and Velcro that wrapped above the "knee." Oh boy did Stid hate the booties. He managed to get one of them off a couple times, and he chewed them both up so badly I had to hold them together with duct tape. I got them both on his hind legs pretty tight and stabilized. His head wounds were no match for rubber booties! We kept them on him for one week. And in that week he sulked and he barely walked and he was mad. He whined. Shane was the one who convinced me to take the booties off and that the emotional turmoil wasn't worth it. I'm glad I listened. One of his back paws had swollen up to about three times the size of a normal paw. It was red and super icky looking. I took him to the vet and demanded an emergency visit (my worst fear was I'd cut off circulation so much that the paw would need to be amputated!). Luckily the paw was warm, and the vet said it would be fine. They gave him prednisone for swelling and another antibiotic shot. And told me to put the cone on him again, since he wasn't supposed to lick his swollen leg. It seems I cannot get rid of that cursed cone.

  • The whole experience was awful, but one positive thing came out of it: prednisone. I have had some awful allergy issues and I know prednisone is a wonderful miracle drug. Evidently it is for cats, too. The basic diagnosis after all of this was that Stidean's skin didn't like Seattle weather and was inflamed. Prednisone counteracted the inflammation and made him not need to scratch as much. So yes, for the last 6 months the cat has received a crushed up prednisone in his food at least once a week. The only solution was to put the cat on drugs. I basically kept an eye on him, and whenever he'd scratch his head a lot or I'd see some red on his forehead, I gave him a pill and he chilled right out.

  • Meanwhile, Stidean was eating us out of house and home. The hypoallergenic stuff didn't help, so he was back to eating my cat's food. And basically he'd finish his food (wolf it down) and then he'd butt Gabby off her food and eat it, too. (She's a grazer. She lost out.) In the 9-10 months he was with us, he went from 12 pounds to 19-20 pounds (gulp!) and Gabby went from 18 pounds to 13 pounds. Wow, what a diet for her!

    (he had a much harder time getting up there after he gained 50% of his body weight)

  • So if you can imagine this. Every time we went to vet, I'd lug this HUGE cat in his carrier down our three flights of stairs and put him in the car. At the vet's office, I'd put Wesley in his umbrella stroller, grab the carrier, push the stroller with my stomach and use my entire body weight to counteract the weight of the cat just to get to the lobby counter. I'm sure I was a sight to be seen. Sorry no pictures. Then, I'd come home and lug him back up three flights of stairs.

  • As soon as the head issues were resolved, things were OK. He still was kind of a crazy cat, but we were fond of him. At one point, despite my best judgment, I talked it over with Shane and emailed his owner and said maybe we'd be interested in keeping him for good. She said she had to think about it. I didn't hear from her in awhile.


  • He got a routine physical in December and a dental teeth cleaning. At the appointment he had a couple lab items still available for his yearly plan, so they asked if I wanted to do them, you know, just for routine analysis to use them up before the year expired. Sure, whatever.

  • Well, that was a mistake. In January things got funny. He was in and out of the litter box a lot. At first, we thought he was just doing it to tick off Shane. See, our litter box is in a bathroom so every time a cat hops out of it, some litter gets on the floor. We keep a broom at the doorway and we sweep before we head into the bathroom to do our business or take a bath or do the laundry or brush our teeth. It was getting bad. Stidean was in there every 5 minutes. I exercised one Monday morning and in the 30 minutes I was doing pilates he was in the bathroom seven times... dig dig dig. With nothing really to show for it. When I was first married I had had a urinary tract infection or two, so I knew what was happening when I saw it. We'd shut the door of the bathroom (hoping "out of sight out of mind" would work), and he'd just whine and whine. Yep, the cat was sick.

  • What's the worst part about a cat in and out of the box a lot? HUGE MESSES. Litter everywhere. You could sweep the bathroom floor for five minutes and STILL there would be litter you didn't get. Plus, there is just something about this cat, he drags the litter all over the house. Litter on our bed, on our couch, on our dresser (he'd jump up there), on our kitchen chairs, every single place this cat was there was litter. It was unnerving. Shane told me I had to vacuum the house at least twice a day and I had to oblige. He was right. It was gross. We have a toddler for heaven's sake.


  • This was the first time I had spoken to his owner since my email "saying we'd like to keep him," and when she said on the phone that no, she definitely wanted him back, well, I have to say I was very relieved. We cannot handle this high maintenance cat. She gave me the go-ahead to take him to the vet.

  • Back to the story. Since the vet had already used up the last of the lab work for a non-emergency reason (back when he had his checkup), it wasn't covered when I took him in this time and I really needed it. SO LAME. I had to pay full price for a urinalysis. He had peed in his carrier and they analyzed it and found some bacteria. They gave him yet another antibiotic shot and sent me home with some pills, tramadol. I figured I'd just crush them up in his food like the prednisone. Umm no. He would not TOUCH his food. He didn't eat for days. I tried everything I could -- drowned the food in tuna juice -- and he would not eat anything with the pain pills in it. I tried to shove it down his throat, but I don't know what the heck I'm doing. It was an unpleasant experience and basically I destroyed five pills (having them melt in my hands) just trying to get him to eat one. And the litter box problems didn't go away. It was still just as terrible. At the very worse moment he jumped into our laundry basket and I am pretty sure he peed on our clothes. That was not acceptable. We were so frustrated. Shane wanted to throw the cat off the balcony. I was going to let him.

  • I called Stidean's owner again and suggested I take him back to the vet. She said, "no, this vet hasn't been right about anything so far. Take him to YOUR vet." So I took him to Gabby's vet. He said it could be a urinary tract infection but although they are more common in male cats then female, they still aren't that common. Mostly, cats who behave in a way like they have a UTI are simply super stressed. Were things in our house stressful? Ummm how about there was a leak in our roof and all our furniture was rearranged and Wesley was sleeping in our room and we were all stressed out? Yes. And the vet said that can do it to a cat. Stidean may not have had a true UTI, but he definitely needed help. He gave me another type of pain med, an oral liquid (he said tramadol is a nasty little drug and he never prescribes it for cats!). Thank goodness; I could squeeze the miracle elixir in his mouth with a syringe. They put him on special wet food (to get him more water). They told me to spray this stuff around the house that helps cats to "chill out." They said above all, we needed to help him not be stressed (so locking him on the balcony with his own litter box wasn't a good idea. We did that a couple times.) Lastly, the worse case scenario is that this was just an anxious cat and he'd have to go on kitty Prozac. I am not lying.

  • The liquid meds worked great. Things got better. The box issues were bad but not as bad. I started emailing my friend more about her "plans." She just found a place to live (in MAINE) and was pretty stressed with moving in and taking some certification courses for her new job (or something). I tried to play cool.

  • THEN the "UTI" issues came back. More digging in the box. We had had enough. I wrote her a kindly but strongly worded email saying we were done. We were too stressed out, and the vet was saying us being stressed out was stressing him out, and it wasn't doing anyone any good. In fact, when I had him on this special "urinary tract" food, I'd have to lock him in the bathroom so he'd eat his food and not Gabby's food and I bet that was stressful. He hated that. He'd race out and eat her food anyway and I'd yell at him. Gosh it was awful.

  • Well, that got the wheels turning. She found someone on UShip.com who is a personal traveler for breeders all over the country. Wow. This woman takes animals on planes and hand delivers them where they need to go. She had a job that was taking her to Denver, so she just hopped up to Seattle and got Stidean. I met her at the airport last Sunday night. She was definitely a pro at traveling with animals and had all the right equipment (like food bowls for the trip, pee pads, soft carrier, the works!), and then it was over. He was home.
Shane told me this was the best Valentine's Day gift I could have gotten him.

In the last week, I am completely astounded at how little litter Gabby tracks all over the house. She is such a dainty cat. Also, since he is gone, she whines a lot more for food or attention. I think he intimidated her so she kept quiet. Now, she rules the roost so she's waking us up at 5 am for food. That I did not miss. I hadn't realized the effect Stid had on her.

I think the hardest part of all of this is that I like cats, and I like the idea of having more cats in our lives, but the fact is you never know what kinda cat you're going to get. Gabby is an angel, and we have been so lucky with her. Stidean was a nightmare, but who would have known? And if we get another cat someday, who is to say which camp that cat would fall into? It's scary territory.

Well, that is my story. If you're keeping track at home, the total vet bill (not counting food and litter) for this guest cat was $393. That's right. Almost 400 bucks. His owner wanted to pay us back (and she might), but we had told her if she took the cat back expeditiously she could keep the money. And the cat was gone within a week. YAHOO!


But I guess I really don't want to end on a sour note. Kitty was full of personality. When things were fun, they were fun. He was much more adventurous than Gabby. He loved toys she hadn't played with in years. We even got the kitties Christmas presents which he loved (this catnip scratching thing that you hang on a doorknob). We pushed him around the house in this cardboard box (which was funny!). He was so good with Wesley, and as crazy as Wesley was Stidean never EVER took a swipe at him. We could always get him purring with a good belly rub. He always licked Gabby which we thought was funny (one of my friends told me that cats licking other cats is a sign of dominance -- interesting!). We'd call him "Stiddy the kitty" and hearing Wesley say his name was just precious. Things weren't all bad.


His owner was completely thrilled when he came home. She posted all sorts of happy things on Facebook and her friends were all happy for her. Um, he evidently has his own Facebook page and yes, I befriended him. I guess that's how you feel when you've lived with someone for 10 months. I heard the flight went wonderfully.

So, here's to you Stidean. Best wishes for the future. I am loving not sweeping the bathroom every 10 seconds.

Monday, February 21, 2011

much silence here

Yes, it has been quiet. I'd better get cracking this week or I'll only have 2 posts for February.

If you're wondering where I've been, I've been trying to teach a toddler to nap in his bed. And sleep in his bed. Yes, we have upgraded from the crib and it has been awful. It's like as soon as we say the word "nap" or "bed," no matter how tired he is, his heart starts racing and he gets a crazy burst of energy. Then when we finally give up and let him play, he is a complete wreck for the rest of the day. This stinks. I am one frustrated mother.
  • At one point I slept on the floor next to him. This got me (and him) one or two naps last week. But my house is a complete mess, my work-at-home pile growing, my blog neglected, and my patience waning.
  • Then, I decided to read on the other side of the room by the nightlight. He continued to sing in bed and did not sleep. I put him back in his bed every time he got up.
  • One book recommended keeping track of how many times you put him back in bed so you know what you're dealing with. The first night it was 43 times. The next night I got to 50 and made Shane take over. The next night it was zero. Night-time actually isn't that bad.... because he always eventually goes to sleep. It's the naps that are killer.
  • My newest attempt to get him to stay in his bed is to spank his bottom every time he gets out. It's working... but I feel terrible. And his little bum is surely sad.
  • Today for nap I worked in levels... first, it was stay in bed, stay in bed, stay in bed. Then, it was lay down, lay down, lay down. Then it's be quiet, be quiet, be quiet. And finally, close your eyes, close your eyes, close your eyes. I thought it was working. But he is currently in his room singing very loudly. I just checked and at least he is laying down. And I'm writing this. Sigh.
This is by far the hardest transition we have had to make. It's made for an overtired, frustrated, whiny little boy. I miss our happy well-rested little boy. I miss the crib. Any advice is welcome.

I find it mildly interesting that this is not my first post about my child's sleep. Urgh.

In other mothering related news items, any advice on how to teach little tykes to blow their noses?

That's all you get today. Let me leave you with the most awesome treat I made for my guest lesson in Young Women yesterday, wherein we talked about pioneers and legacy. LOVE THIS. Yes, I made them up myself.


They're covered wagons! Chocolate-covered wagons! Glorious.

Happy President's Day.

Monday, February 7, 2011

book club

I seem to itch for ways to keep busy. Who knew, right? My latest thing is a book club, started by my friend BlueDragonfly.


We had talked about books before, and the summer I read Twilight I realized how much I missed just reading. Since then I've picked up random books from the "hot reads!" shelf at the library, books my friends have recommended on blogs/Facebook, books that are New York Times bestsellers, books where I heard they were being made in movies, etc. I feel like a thinker again.

I suppose I had talked about my renewed passion for wonderfully written words with BlueDragonfly, and she got the book club idea going. So far we've met twice, with the last meeting just last week.

Our first book was called The Five Quarters of an Orange. It was a German-occupied France WWII tale about some kids who got into trouble on accident, and their single mom was kinda nuts. Lots of mother/daughter angst... interesting. I really got into it. In the end though, the book probably made me madder than anything, since people were being ridiculously rude to each other and knew it and yet couldn't help themselves. That kinda stuff just irks me. (I like happy stories.)

Our next book was The Help, one of the top books of 2010. It was spectacular. The characters were so interesting and the story so finely woven and the details so precise. It was sharp. It was set during the mid-1950s in Mississippi, where lots of rich white girls have hired black help, treat them atrociously, yet get away with it because they are white. It was so enlightening. But again, I suppose I like touchy feely happy things so the book in some ways made me upset because it broached, you know, ethical and cultural subjects that are hard to deal with. It made me think and made me uncomfortable. Which actually, is probably a good thing.

The club has just been so fun. I like getting together with everyone else and discussing incidents and concepts from the book, feeling like a smart woman, and basically just exercising my brain. Whimsy at one point did an online book club where we all read a book and reported back to her blog and posted about it. That was really fun, too. It's just different than if you read a book and meet someone else who read the book, and you're like, "did you like it?" and they're like, "sure." "Book clubs" are so much more than that.... you really get into the details and your thoughts and what was the best and what really hurt. I enjoy that.

Some other interesting things:
  • One of the girls is in two book clubs -- already busy and a super voracious reader. Two of the gals, um, are so well read that they have read every single book we suggest! And since we want them to feel fulfilled, that leaves us trying really hard to think of books to read!!

  • I feel like this is a new world of "pop culture" or something. It's pretty exciting that I can talk to someone about book club stuff and say, "oh yeah, we read that book" or "one of my friends read that book," or "did you know that is going to be a movie with Reese Witherspoon?" I'm starting to learn titles and authors and storylines and sequels.

  • At one point in my life I kept a folder of news clippings of reviews of book that I thought were interesting and decided I wanted to read. I just keep adding to the list. Especially when I'm at book club and we're trying to decide on a new title, and a super interesting book is suggested but 3 of the 5 girls have already read it. I guess I'll just add that to my personal list! I just hope I have the time and energy to fulfill all my intentions of reading these incredible books.

  • A couple of my Facebook friends are book club pros. I asked one of them her advice when I joined the group. She said to pick books that were fun, so reading didn't seem like a chore. Also, the books had to generate good discussion, like they included some thought-provoking ethical question. Although I counter that with this: Have any of you seen the paperback Twilight books and did you see there are book club questions in the back? So yes, if Twilight can generate discussion, I bet anything can generate discussion.

  • Our group has, officially, 7 people in it. I've never been to a meeting where everyone could make it. I think that is a good number, since we all get to talk -- I imagine bigger groups are harder. My mom was in a group once at Church with a boatload of people and she felt like she couldn't get a word in edgewise. Numbers are important.

  • When we decided to start ours, ok when BlueDragonfly decided to start ours, she arranged an introductory meeting at a restaurant where we ate appetizers and went around the table and said what we were hoping to get out of the club. It was really a cool way to speak our peace and say what our goals were. BlueDragonfly, for example, found herself only reading parenting books and really wants to push herself to read fiction. I want to read something that makes me feel smart. Others just want a night away from their kids. All worthy goals!
Needless to say, I'm pretty excited. I'm actually thinking of starting my OWN Church-centered book club, where we read a couple chapters of Jesus the Christ each month. Wouldn't that be awesome? It's a heavy book -- all the more reason to read it alongside other people and hash it out together.

So, here is your job.... tell me some of your favorite books. So I can read them and have our book club read them :-) Maybe I'll post a nice list in a future email!