what parenthood really means

Tonight we had to break into our own house.



Wesley has this new fascination with, simply, being ornery. He likes to turn lights on and off. He likes to knock things off countertops. He likes to lock doors that shouldn't be locked. Sigh.

We all went as a family to this preschool dinner, and Shane took his keys to my car. His house keys are on his keyring for his car. My house keys were inside. And on our way out, Wesley locked the door behind us.

He's 4. Stuff like this is bound to happen. But it's still excruciatingly frustrating.

So, we sat there in the garage, kinda cold, debating what to do. Wesley couldn't understand why we couldn't just go in the front door. Gabby was whining because she too wanted to go inside. Laurel was really tired. It was a tense few minutes. I would have um, tried to open the door with a credit card. Shane instead knocked it down after two really big, scary kicks. Wow, what a strong guy. (Reacting to the tense few minutes, no doubt.)

After some stern words (we really tried not to yell), Wesley went straight to bed.

Amazingly, Shane was able to cobble the door back together. I think it looks great! You'd never be able to tell it was destroyed! I think we are going to give a key to a neighbor. Shane doesn't want to hide one in the yard.

In Laurel news, we are finally walking more than we care crawling around here. Sigh. I miss my helpless baby already. Although she does like it when I hold her as she falls asleep.... ahh she's so sweet.

Those are my latest adventures in parenthood. I tell the truth. My daughter walks and my son is pursuing a career in home security.

in love

I have discovered, interestingly, that I read too many gory books or scary books or ethically challenging books. I have come to this realization since when I actually read a happy book, not just a happy book but a true-blue love story book, I become fascinated to the point of obsession. I take that romantic story and cling to it for dear life, because dangit I just don't know when I'll read one again.

The first time this happened was Twilight. It was a bit ridiculous (and embarrassing actually) how the words of the story took over my heart and soul for several weeks. All I wanted to do was read the books, watch the movies, and stare absentmindedly at the stars and think of true love. Ahh Bella and Edward. I felt like I knew them, like they were real people and I wanted the story to go on. (I suppose, luckily, I got four books to read so my request was granted.) I got butterflies in my stomach reading that book, like the idea of falling in love physically manifested itself in me as the words came alive on the page.

Well, this past month, the transformation has happened again, and this time it was the much-more-respectable Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Seriously!?! I read this book in high school (well, I'm sure I didn't actually read it), but now here I am as a grown woman reading the story for book club and being astounded at how much I love it. I LOVED it. It was incredibly hard to read. It was arduous and prim and proper. It was old-fashioned and laughable.

But oh, it was love. Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy fell in LOVE!

I stayed up until 2 AM finishing it Christmas night. I read something like 100 pages in one sitting, lounging on the futon while reading on the iPad (thank-you iBooks for the free version!). I just couldn't bring myself to put it down! I even had that droopy eye feeling where I knew I needed to sleep but I couldn't will myself to do it.

Lucky for me, since I was so hungry for more, my mother-in-law had the 2005 version of the movie which we watched together and she let me borrow. I've watched it probably 5 times and bought my own $5 copy at Target since then. I've also borrowed the 1995 A&E version from the library and watched it (um, like 5 hours long.) I've watched clips of the best scenes countless times on YouTube. I even have some of my favorite lines that I prance around the house repeating in a British accent, which Wesley finds hilarious.

It's just fun to feel in love, you know? To read the words and feel it inside. I love the power of a good story. I guess this is how I know a book is truly a good book -- when I am so in love with the characters I am sad when it's over, I daydream how the story continues, I am eager to keep that happy book-full feeling in my heart for as long as I can.

So. I'm going to wrap this up and watch Episode 4 of the Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle version again... the scene at Pemberly. It's my favorite.

another year

10 years ago today I was married to my husband. We've had lots of ups & downs, and we are here today, still working on ourselves and our relationship and our home! What an adventure it has been.

Gosh we look so YOUNG. I didn't think I was that old but maybe.

Happy anniversary, honey.