it's been two weeks

We miss our Gabby. Even Shane said so.

I had the thought to email the woman we got Gabby from, the family who kept Gabby's "mother" when we adopted Gabby, to check in and tell her the news. It was an incredible email exchange!! Turns out Gabby's mother also died recently, in January. I couldn't believe it. And she said she thought to email me to check in, but didn't! I'm glad I wrote that small note. It was nice to catch up. It felt special to have a friend who also "knew Gabby" like we did, her whole life, you know?

The day after, Wesley's preschool class went on a tour of a Pet Store. Ummm why was I thinking that would be a good idea? I was faced with pet sadness wherever I looked. Strange feeling. The preschool instructor asked Wesley if he had a pet, and of course he said he did... I didn't correct him...

The hardest part has been turning the corner in the house and expecting to see her there.... in my chair, under the futon, behind clothes in the closet, at the back door.... and she's not in any of those places. She's not anywhere.

The trees in the backyard are all blooming, yellow and white. As the petals fall they scatter on her little grave. It's actually really beautiful and sorta touched me. I want to get a nice flat round rock, write her name on it and decorate it, and put it out there as a marker. 

I've been trying to see if Wesley understands what happened. He thinks Gabby's at the vet, like she went to go live at the vet. Yesterday I finally was like, "no, Gabby now lives with Heavenly Father because she died."  I still don't know if he got it. I don't think I want to push it anymore. It's a tough concept! I hope all the grandparents live for decades (hear that guys? stay healthy!!)

We've had to clean up and that was hard but also refreshing. The carpet cleaner is coming today to do the whole house, which will be good. We turned in her medicine to the vet for disposal, gave away one of her cat perches, and I sold all the extra litter to a friend who also likes the brand we used. We tossed the kitty box. Now to find homes for the carrier, bowls, extra food. etc...

The vet sent a card, something about the rainbow bridge. I heard from my mom it's a popular poem for people who have lost pets. It was really sweet and I totally cried.

I am doing better. Now back to our regularly scheduled blog programming?