fun in july

Welp, summer is officially over here in Western Washington but I am reliving our summer adventures in blog form. Here are the awesome things we did... just wait until I finally get to August!

Swim Lessons

Ha! Just once my goal is to have my children graduate from a level of swimming lessons into the next level without aging out. We'll see. I have a love/hate relationship with swimming lessons. We do it for two weeks, four days a week, so eight lessons total, right in a row. Usually the first week is bleh; the kids are still adjusting and somewhat aggravated by the entire swimming lessons concept. Laurel cried when she realized this was her first swimming lessons in the pool without Mom. I felt super bad for her instructor. Sigh. Wesley had the same instructor as last year, and I wonder if he thought, "oh dear heavens, here we go again." Thank you Noble and Jordan for taking one for my team.

Both of them are in this photo...

Anyway, what happened was this:  after swimming lessons concluded, they both kept talking about how much the loved swimming lessons. They came home and played swimming lessons, wherein they threw a blanket on the floor in front of the couch, they jumped off the couch onto the floor, and one caught the other and they took turns. It was um, kinda crazy? So I did the most reasonable thing I could think of and signed up for more swimming lessons. Yup, we did two rounds in July. Each child had different instructors the second time around, but they both did great and that one-week "adjustment" period didn't happen. And yet, still neither of them "graduated" their level. Oh well.

Watch Wesley use the rope swing... I'm so proud of him!!


We'll do it again next year.

July 4th

I'm grateful for my amazing friends. So very grateful. Vicki invited us to her cabin on Lake Goodwin for July 4th and my kids were beyond excited. Vicki has a boat (and Laurel sang her the motorboat song), and there was swimming and s'mores and sleepovers and glowsticks and Legos and simply everything wonderful. I am so grateful to my friends for inviting us to be part of their holiday tradition. I felt so loved and included and I was just thrilled.

Vicki invited a couple families up, plus her sister and her family were there. We loved it.

We ate food outside....

Checked out nature (there's a butterfly)...

And played in the water.

There was also a hot tub and squirt guns and campfires and boat rides and FIREWORKS. Laurel sat on my lap and we watched, but Wesley said he was "scared" and stayed inside, although he stood by the door in awe all night. They were loud. I didn't put either of them to bed; at one point Wesley told me he was going to bed, then Laurel said she wanted to go, too. Um, it was awesome?! Can my kids always put themselves to bed calmly as their bodies need it? Wouldn't that be great. Even if it's 11 PM.

The next day was Sunday, the Sunday where I sideswiped Vicki's brother-in-law's boat trailer and did this to my car:

Yayyyyy. It's currently September and things were finally squared away with this. I got it fixed by filing an accident claim with my insurance, but I had to go back to the body shop twice because some damage was done to the gas tank and some seals were broken that they didn't catch at first. Finally, all better. My poor baby car.

More Summer Fun

What's summer without carefree fun?

There's painting with monster trucks...

And the best part:  cleaning them in the sink...

There's Legos. Lots of Legos. This is a campfire and s'mores. I LOVE their creativity.

Plus, there's been play-doh. Here are some sharks (with gills).

Golly she's adorable.

Colorado

Here is an interesting story. Last year, on our way to swimming lessons in the car, I got a call from my dad that my Grandpa Twining passed away. It wasn't unexpected but it was quite sad to lose a member of my family. This year, while trying hurriedly to get out the door for swimming lessons, I got a call from my brother that my 26-year-old cousin Jessica has passed away. Um, what?! Maybe I shouldn't answer the phone when it's swimming lessons time.

Jessica fell down the stairs in her townhome apartment and broke her neck. It was terribly sudden. She left behind a very upset, grieving, and somewhat bitter husband and three lovely little children, ages 6, 5, and 2. They live in Colorado Springs.

My mom and I decided to fly to Denver, although in retrospect we might not have gone. There has been some conflict and drama in the family, and my dad's brother, Jessica's father Sidney, was un-invited to the funeral service. I have lots to say about it, but perhaps you'll have to call me up to hear that story. I did get to see my dad's sister Nancy and Grandma Twining, who flew in from Ohio, as well as Kurt and Melani and their crew of kids, who drove in from Utah. I got to see all of other cousins, like ALL of them.... Jessica was the baby. There is Mark, who is closest to Kurt and lives in Kansas City now; Dawn, who is closest to me and was also going through a divorce; Jonathan, whose kids are freaking teenagers now; Ryan, who is married to lovely gal and has such a warm and giving heart and home; Kristi, who is married to a spiritual rockstar and has raised a wonderful little family; and Ray, the oldest cousin we haven't seen in ages because he lives in France! Yes, Ray came to the funeral!  (Excuse the weirdo picture which doesn't even get us all in there. The woman taking it was somewhat clueless. Maybe she thinks we all know how to use Photoshop?)

Um, funny story. There were several HUGE lacrosse tournaments in Denver that weekend. I was just there for like 3 days total. The cost to rent a small compact car was twice as much as to rent a minivan? So just rented a minivan. And here is what I got:

Um yeah. A Chevy Suburban. For ME. Like, JUST ME. On the way out of the car rental facility, I saw this family of four cram all of their stuff into a Ford Focus and I almost begged them to swap with me, like for free. Unfortunately they were going to be there for several days longer than me, and then drive their car to New Mexico. Well, boo for you having more complicated plans.

Anyway, the best part of the weekend, I think, was Sunday after Church when all of "my" family -- my brother, Mom, Grandma, and Aunt Nancy, all gathered around a laptop in Nancy's awesome hotel room and did family history together. Oh man, I LOVE this stuff. We played around on FamilySearch and RelativeFinder and we talked about life and temple work and experiences and testimony. I love my family. I love that our hearts are knit together. It was crazy awesome.

July 14

This deserves its own entry even though I have no images. On Tuesday, July 14, I appeared in front of a judge in Everett, the Snohomish County seat, and my marriage to Shane Gottula was officially dissolved. I am divorced. I legally changed my name to Angela Lois Gottula Twining, and now I'm single. I'm very grateful that it's over and we are friendly.

Midsingles Conference

Three days later, I went to my first LDS single-adult activity! It was a huge conference that cost money and lasted all weekend. Friday night was a dinner and dance with a live band. I took my friend Eva and we ran into a couple people we knew and we rocked all night.

Saturday there was an "Amazing Race" activity, which I aced. I saw some familiar faces and we assembled a team of eight people, and we had these clues and we ran around South Lake Union and Seattle Center and got pictures and stuff. This guy Ryan and I were smarty pants people and we planned out our journey to make good use of time. Our team came in second! First Place beat us by 15 minutes! I'm proud of second place. It felt good that I knew the answers to a lot of the riddles.

Here are some of our scavenger hunt pictures...

I took my friend Kalei with me on Saturday, along with Eva, so it was three of us girls. For lunch we got to wander around the Bite of Seattle at Seattle Center, which was SO COOL.

We got food at a Taster's Table sort of things, where we got eight "tastes" from eight local restaurants. It was awesome. The thing in the middle there was chicken & waffles which now I'm obsessed with. The tomato mozzarella thing was also completely amazing, it had a Mexican flare with cilantro instead of basil or something? Blew my mind. It was all so good. I had a great time and will totally go again with friends. Maybe not kids? It was really busy. Lots of people. But so fun.

Later that afternoon we went to Magnuson Park for some beach time. This was where the most memorable moment of the weekend occurred. I'm wading in the water. There's this totally cute guy there. We started talking. I ask him what he thinks about these things or whatever, and he says something like, "I don't like to be friendly because then people think I want to be friends." OMG. I just couldn't believe this guy was so full of himself. I tried to brush off his comment and we continued to talk about how he likes to shoot guns, but the whole time he was just all smug with me. I'm kinda like, dude, you came up and started talking to ME? Like whatever. Get over yourself.

Sooo I didn't meet any great guys. I got two or three Facebook friends out of the weekend. Saturday night was another dance where they played questionable music (Honey I'm Good? Really? TWICE?) and I did meet a gal named Jamie that I reeeeeeally like. I have a serious girl crush on her. She's awesome, I'm dying to see her again. We've emailed.

There you have it. I'm single and going to single stuff. It's like going back to kindergarten. With cell phones and texting and Facebook, as if being single was complicated enough.

Ducks

Father's Day was in June. It was a hard day for me, since I um, have no father in my home and my earthly father has died, so I was feeling a bit blue and everyone was talking about it on Facebook and I kinda wanted to barf. The coolest thing about Father's Day was when I got out of my car on a busy road near my home and helped a momma duck and her babies cross the street. I stopped traffic and made a guy with a beard and black leather jacket on a Harley totally chuckle. Then another woman rolled down her window and thanked me. I just wish I had my camera!!

Well lucky me! In July we got to help some more ducks cross the street. I noticed them leaving our neighborhood so we followed them. We kept a safe distance :-)

It was sweet. The kids laughed. There's a retaining pond over there so I hope the ducks figured out how to get in there.

Instrument Petting Zoo

One of my favorite summer activities is the Instrument Petting Zoo at the Mukilteo Community Center. I love it!!! I love watching my kids experience the instruments.

Oh man, their little faces. LOVE IT!

And because I'm so nice, enjoy these awesome videos!




Raspberries

We picked raspberries. I was super happy that day. I found an awesome place and we were some of the only people there. We listed to Spotify on my phone and picked berries and danced.

The only downside was I came home and made fruit leather and it was a TOTAL FAIL. EPIC FAIL. I had to throw all of it away. I was so disappointed. Let's just say wax paper isn't the same as parchment paper. I didn't know OK?! I feel stupid enough.

Picnic Point & the Splashpad

Picnic Point is our favorite beach. Here they are making a bridge across the creek. They did a lot of cooperative play this summer which was been so fun.

Here is Laurel's adorable "shark bite" swimsuit that her Grandma Gottula hand-sewed for her. She loves it. Girlie loves sharks. 

Splashpads are fun. We actually didn't get to our favorite this summer, which is a bummer. But we stayed cool when we needed it, nonetheless.

Jetty Island

Of course we did Jetty Island. It was just as wonderful as every year.

The kids played in the mud. There was a cool teepee they played in.

We walked alllllll the way out (the tide was way way way out) in the afternoon and even I went swimming. Gosh it was perfect. I love these memories, I just love them. I love the carefree days of summer. I love LESS that they stayed up until 11PM most nights, but I loved that it didn't matter. We stayed up, we slept in. Sure I haven't cleaned my bathroom in ages, but the dishes and laundry get done and we are fed and we have laughed a lot. I never want to forget this.

Our other big thing was our CAMPING TRIP!!, but I'll make that its own post!

It was a fabulous July!

fun in june

Welp, don't you love how I haven't posted? I've been busy. Welcome summer! We got a great start to our summer bucket list in June.

Temple Picnic

One of my favorites. We walked around. I enjoyed it. I spent a lot of time looking up into the sky and saying, "God, are you sure about all the stuff happening in my life?"  So yeah.

Our selfies....

Eating our lunch across the street. I don't think they want you actually on the lawn there with your so-so-casual PB&Js.

Oh man these pictures are so good.

HAHAHA! I had to include this one.

I hope she always looks to the temple. My sweetie.

The Friend magazine recently said, "You are never lost when you can see the temple." My kids like to say that, too. Kinda adorable.

I can hear their peals of laughter when I see this picture.

It was fun! I like that we make it an annual outing.

TriCities

Well... what's the short version of the long story..... I won tickets to a concert on the radio. I was very very very excited. I made a mix CD even. I asked Shane's sister to watch my kids in the TriCities and a I found a cool girlfriend to go with me.

I drove out to the TriCities.

Then the lead singer of Nickelback got a sore throat and they canceled the show on Friday night. I was so bummed. I guess we make lemonade out lemons and we stayed the weekend anyway and enjoyed ourselves. (Turns out the guy has a lump on his throat and needs surgery, and they canceled the entire rest of the tour. Sigh. I gave up the Stake Campout for this!!)

Laurel helped Aunt Nicole plant flowers.

Wesley played in the pool in the hot desert sun.

We met my friend who I was going to take to the show at a park, so our kids could play. I really liked her daughter, who is a few months older than Wesley. I think the two of them got a lot well, like they could be fast friends. They just *looked* alike. They had the same coloring and body type, they were little peas in a pod. I wish we could see them more often.

Aquasox Baseball Game

Wesley had a reading challenge in 1st Grade and he succeeded, winning himself a ticket to the minor league baseball team around here. Of course, haha, I had to buy Laurel's and my ticket, pay for parking, buy Dippin Dots (Laurel didn't even eat all hers, so I really wish I'd shared mine with her), etc., so it wasn't the cheapest of nights out. But hey, it was a fun summer adventure.

I love that I had to go to a minor league game in the Pacific Northwest to get my hometown major league logo on my baseball cap cup. Go Os!

Scout Camp

The end of the month was 11-year-old Scout Camp. I went as a volunteer with the Stake Primary. We did a lot of planning ahead of time, then really just coasted during the day and a half program (read: played card games and sat in the shade). It was hot but I guess I felt like it could have been MORE hot... I guess I did a good job and was prepared since I never felt that miserable, as miserable as 90-plus-degree weather should have felt like.

Our "fireside" on Friday night was given by Christian Niccum, a guy in our stake (my old ward; he moved in after I was gone) who is an Olympian luger. I had met his wife before and she had told me really wild stories about his experiences in the Olympics, like how he was recruited and how some of his partners were bozos. I got a picture :-) Boy, he was a cool guy. I reeeally like his family.

My favorite part of the campout was late on Friday night, after most people were in bed. I went out into the middle of the field, brought my star chart and a flashlight, and I laid on the ground and looked at the night sky. Cue more of "God, are you sure about all the stuff happening in my life?" I thought a lot about my dad, since he and I would look at stars all the time. I have so many wonderful memories of him. I found the Big Dipper, Hercules, Bootes, I think even Scorpio, and more. It was beautiful, just beautiful.

There were a couple things in June that didn't have pictures...

Our strawberry plants were AWESOME. We got lots and lots of berries. I made strawberry jam that I thought I botched but it turned out great. The rest of the garden has been more complicated... sigh. Maybe I'll blog more about that later. But homemade jam? Just so very wonderful.

Some friends have started some exercise groups and it's been great! On Tuesdays we run around the track at a high school here, and I bring push toys, the stomp rocket, the iPad, and snacks for the kids. Wesley calls it "Running Club," which I love. On Wednesdays we meet at a local elementary school and the kids can play on the playground while the moms do a cardio interval kind of workout... pushups, wall sits, jumping jacks, that sort of thing. Plus we do Zumba :-)  We bring our phones and speakers and plug into Pandora. It's really great. Exercise feels so good.

We also started swim lessons. Since there's more of that in July, I'll post about that in the July summer installment :-)

In general, I love letting the kids stay up and sleep in. I stay up way too late. I'm watching a couple TV shows (Bachelorette and UnREAL, plus Prison Break from the library), reading books, and getting work in. I should clean my house but I'm not doing that as much, haha. My to-do list always seems a mile long, and I'm just trying to stay above water.

But summer does make me happy.

happy birthday, wesley

A handsome little dude turned 7 last month. WOW! SEVEN!

We started celebrating BEFORE his May 26 birthday.... we took a trip to Elevated Sportz, our local trampoline park. The kids were in heaven. Here's a Wesley video, and a Laurel one for added cuteness:

I love those kids. They had a blast.

Monday (Memorial Day) was a trip to Brackett's Landing, our new favorite beach which is right by a set of railroad tracks and a railroad crossing. Wesley's crazy about railroad crossings. It was kinda cold, but then it got better. Later Monday night Shane took Wesley out to eat at Red Robin where he had macaroni and cheese and they sang to him. He enjoyed it. We've really tried to explain the concept of "celebrating" your birthday on a day that's not your birthday ;-)

Tuesday morning we started the day with balloons in his room. Laurel and I bought them four days earlier and hid them in a closet, haha. I accidentally only bought six!! HA!

Breakfast was chocolate oatmeal, one of his favorites. Oatmeal with a teeny bit of chocolate chips, baby marshmallows, and crushed graham cracker. So yum. "S'mores" oatmeal, actually.

I went to have lunch with him, it was just wonderful! I brought cupcakes to share with his class. He got to choose, and he chose red, white, and blue Memorial Day cupcakes. I didn't take a picture!

I'm not sure why, but every kid in the lunchroom got a popsicle that day! One of the teachers said that sometimes they just have these surprises for the kids. Laurel and Wesley were excited. I got one, too :-)

Here is Laurel enjoying her blue cupcake. I got a red one :-)

Our big project that afternoon was frosting the cake! She and I worked on it when Wesley was at school.

As if you couldn't tell, he's really into railroad crossings right now.

Dinner was Little Caesar's pizza and breaksticks. A favorite.

So. At breakfast, Wesley says to me, "when are all my friends coming over?" I'm like, gulp, I didn't plan a party. We went to the trampoline park and the beach, THOSE were the big activities. Anyway, I posted messages in two Facebook groups, my mommy friends and our Church friends, and I said "hey! cake & ice cream at 6:30!" And BOOM! Like 10 friends came, with their siblings and parents! It was wonderful! I cleaned for like 45 minutes tops, I needed zero prep work (I was making the cake anyway!), and then all the cake was gone! One piece left that I put in his lunch the next day. I totally recommend the last-minute cake & ice cream party.

A couple friends brought gifts; how thoughtful. I told them it wasn't necessary, but they really made Wesley feel special. I invited Shane over and it was nice for Wesley to have him here. I can't believe I didn't get any pictures of the gifts! He got some mini railroad crossings for his train tracks (have I mentioned how he is OBSESSED with railroad crossings?), some books, kinetic sand from Shane, Legos, and all kinds of good stuff. He was a bit more aloof with his gifts than he has been before, like a Christmas, you know, opening them, tossing them aside, opening the next one, etc. That was hard to see; I guess he's just growing up into every other little kid out there. I'll have to work on that. Gratitude and such.

I can already see that he's growing up in some big ways. The biggest one:  letting go of Big Airplane. He hasn't been hanging out with Big Airplane nearly as much as usual. Big Airplane has a "bed" and it's been in its "bed" for probably 2 weeks. I never see him with it anymore, he doesn't sleep with it. He left it here the last time he stayed the night at Shane's. Wow.

In some ways he's maturing; he's doing well in school. He has progressed out of the "special ed" services he was receiving for his language delay and fine motor delay. His teacher is really thrilled with his progress. He just moved SLOWLY when doing work, but he CAN do it. I'm nervous going forward still, because if you think of kids in quadrants, the highest quadrant are the smartie pants kids that no one worries about, the 2nd quadrant kids are still "above average" so they skirt by, and the bottom quadrant kids are the ones super behind so they get plenty of help. Wesley's in that no-man's-land third quadrants... not delayed enough to be on everyone's radar, but still worrisome. Yikes. It give me pause, continues to be an opportunity and challenge for me, with his education.We're still in a bunch of therapies and I'm still worried about ADHD/autism kinda things, but overall he's progressed so much and I'm hopeful it'll continue.

Anyway, there's always going to be more to say on that. For now, our annual quiz!

1. What is your favorite color?  blue

2. What is your favorite toy?  trains

3. What is your favorite fruit?  pears

4. What is your favorite tv show?  Cars (the movie)

5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch?  Chickin in a Biscuit
6. What is your favorite outfit?  Spider pajamas

7. What is your favorite game?  Soccer
8. What is your favorite snack?  Granola bars

9. What is your favorite animal?  Cat

10. What is your favorite song?   Bon Jovi, Livin on a Prayer

11. What is your favorite book?  Trains
12. Who is your best friend?  Katy
13. What is your favorite cereal?  I don’t have a favorite cereal
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside?  Play with Laurel
15. What is your favorite drink?  Juice
16. What is your favorite holiday?  Christmas
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night?  My trains book  

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?  Chocolate oatmeal

19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday?  A granola bar
20. What do you want to be when you grow up?  A daddy

I love you Wesley!!!! I love the little freckles on his face and how his eyes twinkle when he's being silly. I love to talk to him about things he's thinking. I love to hear his idea. I LOVE listening to him read! He's learning so much. I love it when he surprises me.

Happy birthday, my son.

unintended consequences of another slicing

I've been a bit MIA, but I have some posts I'm cooking up in my brain (PRIMARILY: Wesley's 7th birthday!!). For now, you get this one...

I haven't yet mentioned that I got surgery on April 6. The surgery I got in December 2013 on my right arm I also had done on my left arm. The gist is this.... I had had pain on my right side for a full year before I got help (physical therapy, cortisone shot, etc.), and when those things didn't work I had surgery after about 2 years of pain. Well, in January, I started having pain in my left elbow. Immediately I went into my doc to see if there was something to be done. He straight up told me that I had unique anatomy in my arm and the pain would only get worse, and I really should get surgery. If you remember, proximal median nerve entrapment leading to radial tunnel syndrome. Wellll I probably would have balked and stuck it up for awhile, just to be sure, BUT when our divorce is final I'm losing my insurance. An insurance agent on the phone even told me to "clean house, medically speaking," so yeah, I'm getting a lot of stuff done right now. So I booked a surgery date and made arrangements for the kids. I did it during spring break. The kids were in TriCities with their dad and Grandma, so I had the whole week to take painkillers, read books, take the bus places, and plant my garden one-armed.

Things did not go as planned. My doctor said that when he got in there, my muscles and nerves and stuff were really different than other people. It's not bad, it's just different, and it likely contributed to my pain. Some of my muscles were really big, and they had grown around my nerves. In order to free the nerve he had to move all these things around, and at one point he was upside down looking in, and all sorts of other complicated stuff.

SO the long story short is, accidentally my nerve was bruised. My doctor said in 25 years of doing this surgery, this has only happened twice. He said if I was the first surgery he had ever done, he never would have done another because I was so complicated.

What does a bruised nerve means? It means my left thumb and pointer finger have been numb since April 6. It was super bad at first. They felt totally asleep. And since I was under general and local anesthesia for the surgery, we weren't quite sure if I just hadn't woken up yet. By a week after-surgery, when they were STILL asleep, I was freaking out.

It also means I can't bend them fully like I should. When I first would make a first, my other three fingers would pull into the palm like normal, but my pointer finger would stick out like a Heil Hitler. It was freaky to have no control, as hard as I tried and stared at my finger I couldn't make it move.

This isn't fatal or anything. The nerve was bruised, not cut. Nerves recover and regenerate. Every day it's getting better. Two months later (today, June 6) I have most of the feeling in my fingers, and I definitely have better range of motion, but I still can't grip things normally. At my appointment yesterday he estimated I have about 50% strength.

So friends, what are the things you simply cannot do when your two fingers are asleep:

• Put on an earring back
• Open a cracked egg
• Zip up your daughter's coat
• Button your pants
• Open a bag of chips or wrapped granola bar or anything for that matter
• Clip your right hand fingernails
• TYPE (imagine typing not with your 'fingertip' but with the pad of your finger... weirdo)

Thank goodness my right hand is dominant. In that way I felt recovery was easier. I was washing my hair and making myself food well enough. If this had to happen, thank goodness it happened the second time around and on my non-dominant arm.

Anyway, I am alive and I'm recovering. I have these ugly scars that I'm hoping will go away sometime. I'm totally self conscious about them. Doc claims they'll heal and turn white. 

Even after all of this, I really think this guy knows his stuff, I really think this will help me. You can't understand how awful my elbow pain was. Lateral epicondylitis. I couldn't hold a block of cheese and grate it. I couldn't wash a frying pan in the sink. I couldn't pour a full pitcher of juice into a cup. So some temporary numbness to give me my normal life back is worth it. The physical therapist I like calls it "criminals" and "victims." My muscles and entraped nerve were the criminals... my elbow was the victim. This will fix it. 

And, I should say, thank you Boeing insurance for this one last hurrah. Now I tackle the Washington Health Exchange.... (queue eerie music.) 

Boy, my life has been stressful lately. Death, separation, divorce, surgery. Then Wesley shattered the iPad screen two weeks ago. I need to pray nothing goes wrong with my car. I am ready for a sunny summer and strawberries from the garden! 

turning hearts

I had a great experience last month when my grandma came to visit. This is Grandma Twining, my dad's mother. She's always been part of my life... when I was pretty little, she and Grandpa lived in a town close to where I grew up. They moved several times through the years (I think the plan was to live by each of the children and grandchildren for a couple years at a time), but we saw them often. 

I have several memories of my great grandmothers growing up; I knew two of my four. One, Great Grandma Eddy (dad's mom's mom) lived in a nursing home nearby, and I remember when she died in the early '90s. The other, Great Grandma Caudell (mom's dad's mom), lived in Virginia near my mom's family and we'd see her pretty much every year at a family reunion. 

I'm glad my kids got to have an experience with their Great Grandma Twining. It's interesting that my Grandma today looks like how I remember my Great Grandmas looking when I was younger. We're all growing up. 

Anyway, back to our story, Grandma was invited to visit some of her cousins(?) in California, and she decided to make good on the invite. She lives in Ohio right now, and if she was going to come all the way out here, she might as well come to Seattle! 

I picked up Grandma on Monday at the airport. She had the airline service folks provide wheelchair service. Grandma's traveling in style, haha.

She said she simply wanted to "experience our life" for the week. I didn't make any fancy plans. She came along with us to therapy sessions and Bingo night and the bus stop. 

Laurel had a great time with a new playmate. There was play-doh....

And books...

And doodle boards...

And of course, waiting for the bus in the rain.

I think Grandma had a swell time. We talked about her life bucket list (publishing a play!) and her meals and her dulcimer choir. She's just so sweet. She was interested in borrowing a cane, and a friend from Church had a hiking stick that she let me borrow. Grandma loved it! She said the walking stick was perfect since she could hold it at any point. With canes, she often has to bend down and that's uncomfortable.

Thursday night was Wesley's elementary school bingo fundraiser, and Grandma came along! Wesley won a pizza party at school and Laurel won a soccer ball!! We were so lucky that night!

Friday was my day to work in the classroom at the co-op preschool, and Grandma came along to that, too. Her career was in education, so I think she was interested to see Laurel's school.

The absolute best part about visiting with Grandma was seeing my dad in her. Sometimes she'd make these facial expressions, like her eyes would sorta bug out (if something was just unbelievable), or she'd purse her lips and shrug in surprise, and she would remind me of Dad. She looks so much like him. It was wonderful and totally painful at the same time. Here was my Dad's blood, walking around in front of me. I miss my dad so much, so much. I loved having her here. I didn't want her to leave.

On Friday night we went out to Arby's in memory of Dad. It was one of his favorite fast food places. The kids thought this was great fun. Grandma was excited to try the mozzarella sticks.

Saturday came too soon. We drove her to the airport and said our goodbyes.

A random stranger took this photo but didn't focus very well.

Grandma's wheelchair service was delayed, so I sorta freaked out and was worried she'd miss her flight. When the wheelchair finally showed up, she sat down and just took off. I didn't get my proper hug goodbye. Boo. Wesley thought the wheelchair was funny and asked what it was for; I told him it was "a stroller for grandmas." I thought it was a good analogy.

A few days ago I got a surprise gift in the mail... Grandma bought me a toaster oven! We had talked about how she loved hers, and I didn't have one. Isn't that the sweetest thing ever? I guess that was my thank-you gift. I can't wait to try it out.

Well, besides Grandma's beautiful face which was basically my Dad in the flesh, the best part about having her visit was doing family history together. I love family history. I'd loved it since I was in college; I remember I'd be home for the summer and I'd take my printed pedigree chart over to the Family History Center at Church and get on one of their computers. I'd load these CDs and search them for information, and every once in awhile I'd find something interesting. It was a bug, and it bit me. As soon as things like Ancestry.com and FamilySearch.org came to be, things changed and Family History was so much more accessible. When Ancestry.com cost money, I'd take all my stuff to the public libraries where I could access records for free. One year Shane gave me a gift subscription to Ancestry and it was just so awesome. And now, the Church has a deal with Ancestry and all members have a free account. All the stuff I worked on back when I had an account (which was dormant after I didn't renew) I could immediately access when my Church-sponsored account became active. I've been having fun!

Over the summer, after Dad died, Grandma, my sister-in-law Melani, and I all sat around a computer one night and I was showing them some family history stuff. We chatted for a couple hours while the kids all played together happily. It was such a fun night, to be together working on our genealogy.

When Grandma came to visit, I was excited to do genealogy. She was here for five nights, and out of those five nights, we stayed up to 1 AM on FOUR of them doing family history. I was tired!! The only reason I was glad to see her go was that I needed to catch up on sleep!

There's this verse in scripture... I really have loved it lately. Doctrine & Covenants 110:14-15 references the Bible, and it says, "Behold, the time has fully come, which was spoken of by the mouth of Malachi—testifying that he [Elijah] should be sent, before the great and dreadful day of the Lord come, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the children to the fathers, lest the whole earth be smitten with a curse."

In the Church, we've always talked about this "hearts of the fathers to the children" and "hearts of the children to the fathers" concept in terms of family history. We are helping people to know where they came from. I love the very end there though, it says "lest the whole earth be smitten with a curse." I really like that -- just think for a second what kind of cursed world we would live in if we were all so selfish we didn't care about where we came from, who we were, what our fathers have given for us and done for us. I feel like genealogy helps me see so much outside of myself, this huge grand scheme of history and the world and life and eternity. I love it, I'm terrified by it. It's amazing, it's overwhelming. It's so fun and also so spiritual.

I'm starting to amass stories. There was this one woman, whose husband was named Samuel, and she had a son named Samuel who died in infancy. Then she had a second son named Samuel who died in infancy. Then she had FIVE DAUGHTERS, all in a row, before she had another son, whom she named Samuel (naturally). He lived. Imagine her heart. Imagine how she felt. Imagine how it felt to bury two baby boys, your pride and joy, your husband's name. And then to keep trying for that boy you knew was up there in heaven waiting to join your family. And having girl after girl after girl. I'm so glad she got her son. I feel like I work on genealogy and then sometimes I just sit there and stare at the screen and think, "What was her life like? What did her family do when she died at age 24 from typhoid fever? What were his experiences in the war?" Maybe one day I'll know the answers.

How it works is like this:  I have a pedigree on a software program that my dad and grandma have been working on for years. I've added to it with information I've gathered from my mom's side, too. It lives on my hard drive and it's mine, all mine. Then, I go online to a place like FamilySearch.org to see what they have. I start to fact check my pedigree. Are my dates right, are my locations right? If there is a conflict, I go to a site like Ancestry.com and look for birth certificates, death listings, Census records. I use those documents as "evidence" to make my pedigree on my software correct, and change anything on FamilySearch (accessible by anyone on the web) that is wrong so it's also correct.

I go down plenty of rabbit holes in the process. Sometimes things in FamilySearch are reeeeally really wrong and fix them. I find duplicate people all the time. Say for example I knew my ancestor Titus Eddy had a third wife named Irene. She'd not listed with Titus Eddy, so I add her. Using Ancestry.com, I figure out her birth year was 1803 and birth location was Longmeadow, Massachusetts; I add that to her record. Then, all of a sudden, three Irenes with that birth year and birth location show up. They are all the same! One has her actual maiden name, Irene Markham (which I didn't know before), one has her with her married name from her first husband (Irene Edson), and one has her as "Irene" married to "T. Eddy" or something like that. I can see the full picture and I know they're all the same. I go to Ancestry and use some of these names and dates as hints, and then boom, I'm finding marriage records, death certificates, and more. I fix FamilySearch so it's all right.

And of course, I'm a bit focused in my research, because our Church believes that all people should be baptized into the Church, but you can't be baptized if you're dead. By doing family history work, we identify ancestors and we take their names to our temples where we are baptized by proxy for them. We don't think we're "making everyone Mormon," but what we are doing is getting that baptism completed for them, so on the other side they can learn about the Church and decide for themselves if they want to accept that baptism. Another thing we do is complete temple marriages for our ancestors (we call it "sealing"), and we seal children to their parents, so the families are eternal. It's a really special thing.

A few months ago I had some names for temple work ready to go, and I printed them out and they sat on my counter for awhile. I finally gave some of them to Mom and Kurt and some other family members to get them done. My mom's side of the family had a lot of names that needed to be done, since none of them were Church members while they were living. Many of these names I've known my whole life, I've just never gone through the effort to get the names submitted.

Mom called me not too long ago, she told me she went to the temple the day before and had done some work on the names I had given her. I asked her who she did work for. I was sitting on my computer chair doing nothing in particular, and she told me, "Great Grandma Greene," which was Mom's great grandma. I knew her name as Lytheral Myrtle Winston. I don't know what happened to me, but something did. As soon as Mom said her name, I was overwhelmed with such a big feeling. It was spiritual. I felt absolutely like something special had happened, and I had been part of something great. My mother's great grandmother had been waiting decades for the temple work to be done, and it was finally done. Perhaps she was grateful. Perhaps I was just feeling productive. Perhaps I was overwhelmed by the enormity of eternity, and so glad I could be part of that for someone else. It was really a beautiful, spiritual thing for me.

So, to sum it all up, another aspect of all this is seeing which of my ancestors have had their temple work done, and getting it done if they don't.

That, my friends, is family history. That is what I did with Grandma until my eyeballs hurt from staring at the computer screen. I should have taken a picture of our papers all sprawled out across my computer desk, with the clock showing 1 AM. Ha!

I sat there one night, looking at my grandma and thinking about life. Here I am now, 34 years old. Years ago I was 7. Then I was 16. Then I was 21. Then I turned 30. I feel like I have all the time in the world, I feel like getting old is so far away and death will never come and eternity is unreachable. But guess what? When I was 7, my grandma was 59. Now I'm 34 and she's 86. Time passes. It passes whether we want it to or not. Life seems so long, but really it's so short. I know this for a fact. I thought I had all the time in the world with my dad, but then I didn't and he was gone. That hurts. I am glad I don't regret our relationship, because it was wonderful and I have such wonderful memories, but I regret that I didn't appreciate it more.

I can honestly say I had a wonderful time with my grandma and I appreciated every second she was here. I didn't take it for granted. I don't know if that'll be the last time I see my grandma -- gosh I hope not. But I do know that life does whatever life will do, and the last time I saw my dad I didn't know it was the last time. I just want to cherish these moments. I want to cherish this family. I want to cherish my heritage. I want to turn my heart to my fathers, to my ancestors, because it makes me feel part of something big and special and wonderful. It makes me part of the fabric of history.

If you're still reading this, I commend you. I am enthusiastic about this for sure. I'm so glad Grandma came to visit, and I'm so glad my heart stirs in my soul about this. I love the time I can dedicate to genealogy, even if it isn't a lot (what with two little people living in this house demanding granola bars, jumping loudly on the trampoline, needing band aids, turning over buckets of Legos, ad infinitum).

You know what else? Dad loved this. He loved family history. He'd go to the family reunions and bring his computer and printer and everyone would check in with him and make sure their info was up to date. Dad was the official recorder of the family dates. I wonder if that passes to me. As Grandma and I were working, we kept saying to ourselves, "oh Dad would get a kick out of this, I wish I could call him," and she said she wished she could tell her mother, who's been dead for decades.

Our hearts were turned. It's a good feeling.

Love you, Grandma.