being released

Well, it’s over. For the last two and a half years, I had the incredible opportunity to work with the Young Women at Church.

Let me recount it for you:

In March 2008 one of the Bishopric members of our ward met with me. I had been serving as the Enrichment Leader, and it was a fun calling. I planned fun activities for the sisters of the ward to do, like picnics and dinners and cooking parties and card-making nights. I’m good at event planning! I’m good at making friends and working with people and doing fun things and helping everyone have social excitement, you know?

Well, the Bishopric member asked me to serve as the secretary of the Young Women organization. This is so much more than just a Sunday calling. It’s a Wednesday night calling. It’s a lot of stake-training-nights calling. It’s a whenever-someone-needs-you-respond calling. Through the years we made care packages for babies and sick friends and surprised people for birthdays and made lots of treats for functions and had parties on a lake and more. (And there was so much I didn’t go to!) Yes, it’s a busy calling. A demanding calling with "extra-curriculars," I'd say.

I was immediately terrified. One, I remembered how I was as a 12- to 18-year-old girl: Indignant! Stubborn! Bratty! Oh dear, would the girls I was asked to serve be like I was? I never wanted to work with the youth. And second, I didn’t really feel like much of a good example. Many of you know me well and know my husband hasn’t been to Church for years. How can I show these girls the value of a gospel-centered family, when I didn’t have that myself? The Bishopric member assured me that I was a good example simply because I kept my faith when things weren’t perfect. He knew I’d do a great job, and the Lord wanted this.

OK, then. Here we go. Not without much crying, but anyway.

The presidency was all called and sustained one Sunday, and the hardest part was that one of the women I replaced, one of my friends who was released, was just devastated. She was so sad. And the whole time I remember thinking, “well, give her my job! She can stay! I’ll go, it’s no big deal to me!” I didn’t feel worthy. And, as I’ve referenced before, I hate it when people say “congratulations” when you receive a new calling, so all day I wanted to slug people in the halls at Church. Look, friends, I didn’t ask for this. Please don’t congratulate me.

And so I went to work. I was really nervous at first, but I slowly got to know the girls. I was super intimidated by some of them – really cute sweet girls. Then, lucky me, our cat-sitter when we lived in Seattle moved into our ward. She was 8 when she watched our cat, and now she was 13! She was in the Young Women. I had a friend! And she was so glad I was there. And pretty soon, the daughter of one of my visiting teachees turned 12, and I had even been in her primary class for awhile. I knew some of these girls; nothing to be scared of!.

I saw myself start to change. In the YW they have the Personal Progress program, and as a leader you can work on it again. I finished the program when I was a girl and had already been recognized for it, but I decided to do it again. I memorized hymns and read interesting books (still working on Jesus the Christ) and worked on my family history and found ways to serve strangers. I firmly believe, looking back, that I was called into YW so I could work on myself. I don’t know if the girls got anything out of my involvement with them, but I know I got to know myself better as a wife and mother and person and daughter of God by doing my Personal Progress. It made me get on my knees. It made me open my scriptures. When I wanted to sulk, I instead sought comfort. It has been a wonderful couple of years.

I got to do great things! We made desserts for fund-raisers. We had sleepovers! We did scrapbooky-y crafts and delivered cookies at Christmas and became friends on Facebook and manned a booth at the Halloween party and went to the temple and felt the Spirit.

I was making some sweet young friends. There are lots of great babysitters in the Young Women. They are funny and sincere, and they are trying to do what’s right when it’s super hard. I had two girls over once to make an apple pie and they told me about how their friends at school were pregnant. I was able to tell other girls about how awesome BYU is, and how going there changed my life. Plus, these girls taught me about Twilight and Justin Bieber and texting, for heavens sake!

I’m a better person because of my time with them. I love them. The more I got to know them and saw their strengths and their struggles, my heart ached for them when things were tough and my heart sung for them when they succeeded.

Fast forward to now. Our Young Women President’s husband was called as the Bishop of our ward. Wow. The demands on a family of those two callings together are just too great, so it was understood she’d be released. She had served in YW for more than three years, as president for 2.5 of them. The old Bishopric liked to tell us how great we were as a presidency, that we all worked together so well. I though of us as a “well-oiled machinery that is the YW presidency.” I was in a bad mood when Bishop Valentine was called. I didn’t want this chapter in my life to end.

Isn’t that funny? I didn’t want it to end. Me who was devastated at first didn’t want it to end.

But, at the same time, I knew I was stressed out. Remember this post? My brain was too full, I couldn’t hold anymore information. As much as I wanted to keep going (and I even emailed some people asking them to let me keep going!), it was time for me to be finished with this responsibility. Just as the Lord knew two years ago that being called was what I needed, the Lord knew now that being released was what I needed.

I was talking to my boss about it at work, telling her how bummed I was that I was released. She's the one who pointed out to me that maybe this was a good thing. Maybe it was good I had some free time back to myself. She, not a member of my faith, even said maybe someone was watching out for me. She was right, and I hadn’t looked at it that way. This was a totally good thing, but I didn’t recognize it. Just like I hadn’t recognized it before.

My last hurrah as a YW leader was on Wednesday. Our girls were at camp this week. Girls camp is awesome. There is singing and swimming and knot-tying and bead earning and friend making and more. I loved camp. I made some great great friends at camp that I still have today. (I need to call some of them!) Our girls were experiencing that this week.

On Wednesday, all the ward YW leaders are invited up for “Ward Wednesday.” Nothing big was going on; we just got to hang out with the girls all day! I have an awesome friend who was willing watch Wesley for seven hours that day! Lucky me! I dropped him off before 11 AM, and drove up to camp in Cle Elem with another leader. Shane got Wesley when he got off work at 6 PM. I stayed at camp until almost 10 PM, didn’t get home until close to midnight!

I did the slip and slide! I ate camp-style taco salad! I used the port-a-potty! I earned three beads! I got mosquito bites! I wore a pink "Chicks Rule" shirt! It was awesome.

My last act as a leader was to share my testimony with them. All the girls have mailboxes at camp, so I made them some mail. I did it “wedding invitation” style (haha), where I had a transparent sleeve with a scripture on it (not vellum, thanks to Kinkos, but I still think it turned out awesome!), a picture of the Savior, and a piece of cardstock that I wrote a note to each of them on. I put all three pieces together with a fancy paperclip and ribbon. They turned out so well! I want to make more – and make one for myself!

(transparencies with scriptures)

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(my slicer dicer)

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(Christ and paperclips)

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(blue ribbon)

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(really cute mail)

Here is the scripture:

“And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That He lives! For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father — That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God.” ~Doctrine & Covenants 76: 22-24

I really love how the "That He Lives!" is right smack dab in the middle of the photo. It turned out so well.

It was wonderful writing notes to each of the girls. They are so special. I wanted them to know how much I love them. And, I wanted them to know I know the Savior lives. He comforts me when no one else can. He knows why it is he asks me to do certain things, and through keeping my faith in Him, I usually figure out why as well. It’s incredible. I’m so glad I have Him in my life, to take my troubles to, so I can feel peace amid the confusion. I wanted each one of those girls to know that. I’m so glad I made the decision when I was their age to stick with the gospel. It has made my life worth living, truly.

I’m grateful I know this is true. I’m grateful that through Him I am changed for the better. Wow. And now, I am on to bigger and better things, right? No matter what is in store, I know it’ll be right, and I have my Savior to thank for that knowledge.

So, off I go on more adventures. What shall I do with all my free time? Blog? Haha....