i hope i laugh about this later

We taught Wesley a funny phrase. I think we taught it to him in jest... but now I worry. It's "crazy driver." Shane would try to get Wesley to call him a crazy driver, and then say, "dad's car goes fast!" so when Wesley started so say both things, we thought it was cute and funny. Heh.

Now, I'm afraid he is calling me a crazy driver. Bad news.

A couple weeks ago, at the beginning of November, I was driving home after picking Wesley up from a friend's house; she watched him while I went to a doctor's appointment. We were in this weird neighborhood that wasn't familiar. I turned a corner and saw one of those digital speed limit measuring things, and it said the limit was 30 and I was going a red 31 and then a green 29. Good for me! At that very second I looked in my rearview and saw a cop behind me. What!?!

I pulled over and he said I had been speeding. I said, "but sir, I just passed that speed tracker thing and I was going 29!" He replied that no, he clocked me many blocks ago and had been following me and I hadn't stopped. (Which I guess was true; I hadn't checked my rearview lately. Weird.) He said I was going a 42 in a 30, and gave me a $154 ticket. I was none too happy about it.

This bugs me on so many levels:

• One, I didn't know where I was, nor did I know the speed limit, and I didn't think I was speeding (the sign told me I wasn't!), or at least I wasn't speeding on purpose. And I got a ticket anyway.
• Two, I realized I've been pulled over pretty much every year for the last four or five years. That's a terrible record. I got one ticket that I "mitigated" and got reduced from $198 to just $98, and this is the second ticket. A camera got me speeding (ooh 29 mph) in a school zone once, and I got a ticket for that, too. I got let go with warnings twice.
  
• Three, this $154 ticket basically was a birthday present. I really wanted a new digital camera, but the fine for this is about the same so I suppose my punishment is that instead of buying a camera I'm paying off this debt. So lame.
• Lastly, what I think is the worst thing that bugs me, is that Wesley was in the car with me. I drive everywhere with him. I am his mother and I need to be taking care of him, so why I am I speeding? Why can't I just slow down and be OK with it and keep us safe? I feel like a bad mother.
  

It's pretty safe to say that at the get-go, I was already pretty annoyed with this ticket.

My story gets worse.

I had 15 days to respond to the citation. I was pretty irked, so I ignored it for a couple days. Then I asked people what they thought I should do. Evidently in Washington you can "defer" one citation every seven years, meaning you pay an admin fee of $125 and if you don't get another ticket in one calendar year (I wasn't on a good track for this, but it sounded interesting), it is purged from your record. But, I'd have to go to court, and because my citation was only $25 more, I decided against it. I'd just pay the stupid thing.

I got it all ready. Wrote the check. Sealed the envelope.

And went on vacation. Leaving it on the kitchen table.

The 15-day period passed. I remembered that I hadn't mailed it during Thanksgiving dinner. I frantically texted our cat sitter and asked her if she'd seen it. She said she had and she'd mail it for me.

But evidently, the City of Brier doesn't actually want my money, it just wants to make me miserable. They sent the money back to me with a nicely worded letter saying, "we are in receipt of your money, but you were late, so here it is back, sucker." They passed my case from their Police Department to the South County Courts, so they didn't have my info anymore and I guess didn't want my money. And according to the courts, I still haven't paid.

I am completely freaking out. I did a lot of research on what this all means. It means:

1. My fine will increase (at least $52)
2. My license could be suspended
3. I could be sent to collections
4. Although I didn't explicitly find this on the Web site, many friends said it's possible there would be a "bench warrant" out for my arrest (oh geez)
5. Overall, my stress level increases and I lose all sanity. Yay.

This morning, I tried to get someone on the phone at the courts to discuss this. No luck. They have a phone tree and no real people are accessible. So. Lame. Then, I decided to go down there personally and make this all go away. I arrived ONE MINUTE after they locked their doors for their lunch break. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? The time was 11:51, and evidently they eat from 11:50 to 12:50. (Side note: who has lunch at such a weird time? How would I have ever planned for this? It's not fair.)

I went back to my car, sweet little Wesley in tow, and cried. This sucks. I don't want to deal with this. And I have to keep telling myself I am not a bad person, although sometimes I speed, and I really need to stop speeding because if I never have to deal with this kinda stuff again it'll be too soon. I am trapped in a nightmare. A bureaucratic nightmare. I am trying to give the government my money and they won't take it! What is wrong with this?

Anyway, I realize the issue is that I can't control what is happening to me, and that bothers me. I like to be in control. And strangely interesting is that I also realize the one thing I can control is my speed, and because I used that control to break the law last month, I now have to live with the consequences. I get that. And boy do I feel sheepish. I've always felt like a good citizen, but I'll tell you the local government here is sure making me feel the opposite. Sigh.

I sure hope they take my money tomorrow.