missionary musings

Like many many people (I'm sure), my mouth completely dropped to the floor when, in General Conference last weekend, the First Presidency changed the age of availability for missionary service to 18 for men and 19 for women. WOW.

 

I have lots of thoughts on this. In no particular order...

I had heard that the Church "loses" a lot of young men between the year of high school graduation and age 19. If a young man plans to graduate then leave on a mission right away, there's less opportunity to get into trouble or lounge around and decide not to serve. This sounds pretty good in theory. This means young men will need to be saving saving saving all during high school for their missions, as opposed to having that extra year to "work and save," but I'm thinking that can happen. This means less boys will head off to college and get a year under their belts before they go. They won't really know what they're missing, right?

In the same vein, young men used to head off to college for a year, or work and save, then go on a mission at age 19. Now young women can live out the scenarios the young men used to live. For myself, I hesitated to go on a mission because of the timing of my 21st birthday. It was the fall of my senior year of school. I could leave and come back to one more year of school, but that didn't seem smart -- nor did it seem right to graduate with a degree then come back with no experience to look for a job after having been on a "sabbatical" for 18 months. The timing was all wrong. For women, I think this age change will be much better for the timing of their educations.

I had always heard one reason women went later was because of "safety," that an older woman was less likely to be bothered than a younger woman by no-good folks. I wonder if that issue has gone away? And for what reason?

I had also heard another reason women went later was because the Church (and others) wanted girls to get married instead of going. This is a silly reason, but a reason nonetheless. Maybe with the age change more women will have the opportunity to serve, yet will come back nice and young (still age 20!) and be ready to get married! Haha. Someone even argued that with more men and women serving, having the shared mission experiences of living with companions, service, etc., that marriages will be stronger and more likely to work out (and not end in divorce). Missions tend to "mature" men, and I guess women too. With more mature people getting married, it can only mean better results in the marriages, right?

However, that being said, getting married young isn't the solution to any problems. I got married at 22 and all. the. time. I think I got married too young. So young. With RMs (men and women!!) both age 20, they'll all be ripe for the picking. I know the Church supports it and loves it, but I hope it works out for the best.

Part of me wonders about this: The Church knows the statistics that the average ages of people getting married is increasing, year after year. By changing the missionary ages, it would appear they are hoping to foster marriages of LDS young people at even younger ages. Interesting?

I had also read that somehow this helps with college athletics and the missionaries' availabilities and eligibilities for sports, especially young men. I guess if a fancy footballer goes off on a mission at age 18 and comes home at 20, he can go to college and have four uninterrupted years of play. Maybe this is more desirable to institutions outside of BYU recruiting Mormon athletes.

Regardless of all the thoughts and theories, I have to think about myself. If this had happened 10 years ago, would I have gone on a mission?

I look back to my life when I was 19. I consider that the time of my life when I was a spiritual "10." I took my scripture study seriously. I prayed fervently. I did all I could to grow in the gospel. I even had a boy who wanted to marry me, and I prayed about it lots -- and I didn't want to! I wanted to serve a mission! Maybe that was an excuse for not wanting to marry him. Beside the point. I had spiritual experiences telling me not to marry him, which 1) grew my testimony and faith, and 2) caused me not to get married. If I could have gone at age 19, I would have totally gone. I was prepared.

When I turned 21, the fire that I had had at age 19 had fizzled a bit. I wanted to go, but stuff was in the way. I turned 21 in November 2001, and in February 2002 was the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake. I wanted to stay and volunteer. I was really close to finishing my degree (I graduated in August 2002), and it just didn't make sense to go. Instead of listening to the testimony in my heart, I listened to the reasoning in my brain, and talked myself out of it. I also had this "come to Jesus" moment where I had to say to myself that if I was called to Japan (scary language) or Guatemala (scary poverty) or somewhere else scary, that I would go. I couldn't say it. I didn't have the faith. Since I couldn't say, "I'll go where you want me to go, Dear Lord," I decided not to go.

Do I regret it? I do. I think my parents really wanted me to go (did you, guys?). My life would be so different if I had gone -- in good ways and bad. I'd be a different person, maybe, with different experiences. I wouldn't be married to Shane, and then our two amazing incredible children wouldn't exist. That saddens me. Would I give up my kids for the experiences a mission would have brought me? It's a question I can't even ask, let alone answer.

A year or so ago I went with the Elders in my ward to visit and sister who was investigating. I was able to share some testimony with her and help the Elders out (oh they're so young), and afterwards one of the Elders was just like wide-eyed, asking me if I had served. When I said I hadn't, he was incredulous and said to me, "you would be a great missionary." I guess I wasn't ever really sure of myself, although it makes sense now. Sure, I woulda been great and had fun and done my best. But alas, it's the past.

I guess, after all the introspection is done, I'm excited for the change and am excited for my own son and daughter. I really hope Wesley will answer the call to serve a mission, and do so earlier if he is ready. I'd love to Laurel to go, to have the opportunity to share the gospel that I didn't take.

As for me? Maybe one day I'll get to serve a mission. There was the woman in my home ward who had a great testimony (first up every testimony meeting), and when her husband (who needed her care) passed away, she was out the door faster than lightning! But of course, I can serve "a mission" here at home, too, teaching my kids and teaching my friends, bringing the Spirit with me wherever I am. I'm working on it.

What an exciting time for the Church. It's cool I got to be part of it.