remember this? i'm doing it again

Hahaha! I'm at it again!

Whenever someone asks me to fill out NCAA brackets, I sorta chuckle. I have NO IDEA what I'm dealing it. All the favorite teams in this house (BYU, Washington, Nebraska) are nowhere to be found in the tournament this year. But some friendly rivalries are in place and I found myself going for it.

But you may recall, the way I select winners isn't how most people select winners. I select winners based on which mascot could beat up which other mascot. And this year's tournament had some real doozies.

FOLKS. I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED!

Here's a bulleted list of some of the highlights in completing my NCAA bracket:

The Birds (they didn't make it very far in my brackets):

• University of Louisville Cardinals
• Long Island University Blackbirds (oh they lost to James Madison for the 16th spot but I still researched them and totally laughed)
• University of Kansas Jayhawks
• Temple University Owls
• Marquette University Eagles

The Sorry-Not-A-Chances:

• University of Akron Kangaroos, I mean Zips (seriously. it's a kangaroo)
• Ohio State Buckeyes (do you know what a Buckeye is? It's A TREE.)
• South Dakota State University Jackrabbits
• University of Wisconsin Badgers
• Bucknell University Bison

The Laugh-Out-Louds:

• Northwestern State University Demons and Lady Demons

The History Lessons:

• St. Louis University Billikens:  This one dates back to 1911, when one of the university coaches resembled a Billiken kewpie doll, I mean little Buddha, I mean charm doll, err whatever. A newspaper reporter called him a Billiken and his team Billikens, and get this, um, it STUCK. How weird is that? And now it's the school's official mascot.
• Wichita State University Shockers:  So. When I saw this name I was excited, like, "ooh an earthquake or after-shock or something." No. "Shocking" is another term for harvesting wheat. The name reflects the university's heritage, where lots of students earned money shocking wheat on farms. Cultural, yes; intimidating, no. The mascot is a "shock" of wheat. Oy.

The People:

• University of Illinois Fighting Illini: Probably the most boring mascot of all time. Picture this, "University of Washington Washintonian." Yeah.
• University of Notre Dame Fighting Irish: Just tough Catholic guys.
• Iona College Gaels: Literally a red leprechaun.

The Colors:

• Harvard University Crimson:  They are RED. Just red. And the mascot is "John Harvard," literally the PERSON who the university is named after.
• Syracuse Orange:  It's orange. Just orange. And meet "Otto the Orange," HAHAHAHAHA:

 Yup. It's a big orange fuzzball and that is in fact their team spirit.


The tough decisions:

• I have for the second round, the Southern University Jaguars vs. the Pittsburgh Panthers. Which big cat is mightier? Jaguars and Panthers seem pretty equal.
• Michigan State Spartans vs. Valparaiso Crusaders? Who's to say which vigilante is stronger? These are the tough decisions when doing brackets this way.

The winners (aka my Final Four):

• Iowa State University Cyclones (yes! now we're getting somewhere!)
• University of Miami Hurricanes (I like the natural disasters; you may recall this was my pick for winner in 2008)
• Duke University Devils
• University of Michigan Wolverines (I guess of all the wild animals out there, I find wolverines the most intimidating. Go figure. They beat out Wildcats and Rams and all sorts of stuff to get to the Final Four)

 And my winner? Well, I'll report back on how I did. Maybe I'll keep that secret for now.