kindergarten prep

Hmmm I have a lot to say about kindergarten. But I didn't plan to write it all down just now. Suffice it to say, I am worried about kindergarten but we are pressing forward nonetheless with kindergarten in this house.

So. Wesley got to pick out his own backpack. I told Shane I wanted a JanSport and Wesley could pick any JanSport he wanted from all the JanSports at Fred Meyer. I let Dad be in charge of this one... and THIS baby is what he picked....

WOW. I WILL NEVER LOSE THIS KID IN A CROWD. Seriously the picture doesn't do it justice. This sucker is BRIGHT. 

He wouldn't model it for me. Sigh. 

When I first saw it my jaw dropped.  Now every time I walk into the kitchen and see it my eyeballs shudder. The tag reads "fluorescent orange." Yup, that about says it. How about "neon florescent brighter-than-a-traffic-cone orange."

Hopefully this will help Wesley get more excited for kindergarten. My strategies for getting him comfortable include:

• buying supplies and not commenting on the color of said supplies
• borrowing kindergarten books from the library (titles like Countdown to Kindergarten, Miss Bindergarten has a Wild Day in Kindergarten, and My First Day of School)
• making a paper chain
• playing "school"
• talking about it all. the. time. He's going to ride the school bus even so I've got to do this well.

I love the little guy. I am freaking out and I hope this is the right choice. We have an "Individual Education Plan" through the school district, so they already know who he is and who I am, I just hope it's enough. I desperately want school to be a good experience for him. I want him to succeed. I know he is academically ready (he can count to 100! he knows all the letters, colors, shapes, etc.! he can read sight words!), but I am worried about behavior, social, focus, attention, etc. I'm worried the connections in his brain aren't working quite perfectly and he can't find the words to communicate what he is really thinking and remembers. They call that "pragmatic speech." When he has a hard time coming up with something, he gives up and says "I don't know" or "I don't want to talk about that right now." I sigh. I can't push him any further, because he only resists more. My nightmare is that as soon as he starts experiencing things away from me I will NEVER know what he is going through because he won't tell me -- he can't tell me. 

I feel like some of these problems of his may not improve with time, and we just should send him in there and hope for the best. The other part of me is scared I am sending him to fail, expecting that he'll need lots of help that he won't get until he doesn't achieve. My heart is torn! 

He just doesn't LEARN FROM ME. He won't listen to me. He won't do the "fun" (aka educational) activities I plan -- like the color-by-number I printed the other day or the sorting project I came up with. I try to frame it as a game and as fun, but he just doesn't care. My only hope is that a professional teacher can help him with confidence, discipline, attention -- and incite action and progress. I'm afraid if we wait another year he'll get bored academically, and that won't help with behavior, social, attention, etc., either. Now seems like the best time. Believe me, I pray about this every day, hoping for comfort. 

They say kindergarten is the "great equalizer." We'll see. I hear that by Christmastime we'll know if this is working. This kid is truly my heart walking around outside my body, and I want the absolute best for him. Five years have just flown by so fast, and every day I still don't know what to expect.