on running

I wonder if anyone finds it funny that my iPod can play Linkin Park, followed by Taylor Swift, followed by Chamillionaire, followed by Bon Jovi. All very different types of music and all very fabulous for running.

When I went to bed last night, I told myself I wasn't afraid of running. I kept saying it over and over again. I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid, I can do this, I can do this. This morning when I woke up I realized I'm a faker. I was a definitely afraid of this run.

My friend Marianne (hi!) once said her favorite runs were the 6 to 8 miles. I wondered if she was crazy? But today, out there on my 7 miler, I actually had a good time. I did a lot of thinking. I really enjoyed it.

I liked Kelly Clarkson's song, "Stronger" :  "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone." One, if I survive this half marathon I will definitely be stronger. *If* I survive. Two, even though I was alone this morning (and missing my favorite running buddies), I didn't feel lonely. I had my thoughts. I felt rather engaged in my head.

Maybe the only reason I'm afraid of running is because I'm not doing enough in my down-time to prepare. I'm still cheating. I'm eating chocolate chips straight from the bag. I know I shouldn't eat 3 bowls of Honey Grahams at 9 PM, but I do it anyway. If I can be strong enough to get a control on this, maybe I'll be able to see running as more complementary to my success and be excited about it.

At one point, everything hurt. I have some blisters healing. My knees were a bit achy. My ankle at one point was uncomfortable. My legs felt heavy sometimes. And I push through, and in the end I was feeling so great! Wow! I think if you're mentally ready, you just realize you have to "get used" to running. It's like my brain is saying to my body, "get comfortable, we're going to be doing this for awhile."

You know how the night before you have to catch an airplane early or get to a job interview you never sleep well? Like you're anxious about it, or worried you'll sleep through the alarm? That is me the night before a long run. I never sleep well.

I KILLED IT this morning. I feel SO GOOD. I didn't walk at all! I only went about 11 min/mile which isn't my goal, but I was consistent and I DID IT. Seven miles, under the belt. This week was a hard week, I did 3 on Monday, 4 on Wednesday, 5 on Thursday, and 7 today -- 19 total! And I did it. We're on our way....