this week...

In no particular order, this week I...

• Got released from my calling at Church (woo hoo!), which relieved me SO MUCH because I was SO overwhelmed
  
• Signed Wesley up for 12 weeks of gymnastics
• Watched the Bachelor and really think it's a waste of my mental time and energy (so WHY am I so addicted!?)
  
• Had a Mardi Gras party with a friend wherein I ate a Chocolate Xtreme Blizzard and loved every ounce of it, then vowed to give up ice cream for Lent (I am not Catholic)
• Exercised for the first time since having a baby, and BOY am I SORE and TIRED and feeling discouraged
• Starting tracking my calories on MyFitnessPal, then became additionally discouraged (I know I should keep at it)
• Made a goal not to eat after 8 PM
• Met with a prospective boss downtown about a new part-time, mom-friendly job (ooooooh)
  
• Emailed a half-dozen co-op preschools to see if we could get a spot, heard back from two, signed Wesley up for one, and essentially filled my entire calendar, which was previously completely empty
• Browsed on Pinterest for hours
  
• Tried really hard not to yell at Wesley but failed miserably (we really have a "listening" problem in this house)
  
• Cleaned the bathrooms
• "Danced" with Wesley to Caspar Babypants (which means we ran around the playroom in circles)
• Experienced a blissful full night's sleep when little Laurel slept for SEVEN HOURS straight, from 10:30 PM to 5:30 AM (wow wow wow)
• Mitigated by mail my cell-phone-to-the-ear moving violation earned in January
  
• Went to two children's museums -- Seattle and Everett -- and both were miserably packed because 1) it was President's Day and 2) it was winter break for all the school districts; let's call that a planning FAIL
• Asked Wesley to please stop referring to me as Marlin and Shane as Dory and himself as Nemo
• Got my car's oil changed
• Went to Sam's Club with two kids and no husband and bought $200 worth of stuff
• Found out a house we lost last week was OURS IF WE WANTED IT (since the first offer fell through), making me absolutely giddy with excitement while simultaneously nervous for the inspection Monday
• Fell in love with my daughter's smile over and over and over again
• Downloaded Chamillionaire's clean radio version of "Ridin' Dirty" for exercise purposes
• Watched Jeopardy
  
• Decreed three "Scissors Rules": We point the scissors away from our bodies. We only cut with scissors when Mom or Dad is watching. We do not run with scissors. I made Wesley repeat these a dozen times. And he still tried to cut his shirt.
• Updated both Wesley and Laurel's electronic (.xls) "medical journals" where I keep track of all their doctors visits (very useful to have done)
• Napped with my cat for the first time in ages
  
• Finally wrote a blog post.

So there. What did you do this week?

love

We are all about Valentine's Day in our house this year.

Sunday, we sung "love songs" in Primary, which was just awesome. I sang a few of them to Wesley before bed, and now he is constantly asking for "songs about love." Some in the lineup:

• Love One Another
• Love is Spoken Here
• I Love to See the Temple
• I Stand All Amazed
• Love at Home

I made an AWESOME gift for Shane; check it out:



I made one of these a few years ago for my brother Brad when he was on his mission. I love the creativity that comes with a candy gram. Unfortunately I think buying all the separate candy bars ends up spending more money than just buying a gaudy huge heart box with truffles in it, but where's the fun in that??

Here's the text:

Dear Shane: Don’t you snicker at this whopper of a card! I wanted to take 5 minutes and tell you all the reasons you’re # Uno. Even though you’re kinda a nerd, I really skored when we became Mrs. and Mr. Goodbar. I was such a smartie to marry you, big hunk!! Sometimes our life is a beautiful symphony, and sometimes it’s a rocky road, but through it all we’ve made at least 100 grand memories. I love you to pieces, you hot tamale! Happy Valentine's Day, hearts, Angela

I also saw these on Pinterest, so of course I had to try a variation of them. YAY. These are for the visiting teachees:



Basically, they are peanut butter blossoms but sub cocoa powder for peanut butter and use a Dove chocolate instead of a Hershey's kiss. Cute!

'Tis also been the season of "heart attacking," which is the modern, sophisticated version of toilet papering. I love it. A couple weeks ago, the Young Women at Church heart-attacked me (yay!) which came complete with a heart saying, "I'll sit with you at Church and help with Wesley." YES! And the young woman (our babysitter of choice) did sit with us this past week! What a marvelous show of love!





THEN lucky for me, last night I was invited on a stealth heart-attack mission, for which we remained anonymous. I must say I participated but it wasn't my idea; all of the credit goes to my partner-in-crime. SO FUN. We dressed in all black at 10 PM.



Lastly, what's the fun in having a baby girl if you can't put her in cute heart-related clothes? I LOVE this little lady and I LOVE having a daughter!!





I hope you're feeling love today!! Happy Valentine's Day!

ode to drivers everywhere

Ode to Many

Here is a poem
so carefully crafted
to thank those who have forgiven me for my awful driving.

I'll never forget my first victim
Mere weeks after earning my learner's permit
My mother's minivan backed into his pristine Mercedes
in the Church parking lot.
He was visiting from out of town.
My eyes filled with tears.
I was so sorry. I was so young.
He was so kind. He told me to forget about it.
He should not have let it go.
Lucky me.

Last year
After taking Wesley to the doctor
I followed a cream-colored minivan in a right turn lane waiting to merge
I thought she was merging; she wasn't.
Her bumper was already really scratched up
No one could even tell what damage was mine.
I still felt terrible. She told me not to worry about it.
We went on our way.
Lucky me.

At Greenlake last summer
I "San Francisco love-tapped" a blue minivan
with carseats galore and fast-food wrappers.
The damage was minor, just indents from my license plate screws.
I felt compelled to leave a note
although not many people do.
Blessings to her for never calling.
Lucky me.

Just months ago
On my way to drop off my son at a sitter
I thought I knew the person in the car next to me.
The light turned green; her lane started moving.
So did I.
But my lane was not moving.
Once again, those license plate screws left noticeable indents
in the bumper of a nice, new, black Hyundai Accent.
Yikes.
Wesley was in tears. He repeated through his sobs:
"We do not crash cars! We do not crash cars!"
The guy was on his way to work; he was late; he had to go.
What a mess I had made.
He said not to worry about it. He didn't even get my number. He didn't have the time.
I cried too. He should not have let it go.
Lucky me.

Just weeks ago
In bumper-to-bumper traffic on the Interstate
I was driving my husband's car, with automatic transmission
I wasn't used to the quirkiness; I wasn't used to how it idles along
when my foot isn't on the break.
I barely touched the silver Honda from Canada.
He got my number, but the damage was barely there.
For days afterwards, my heart jumped when an unrecognized number came up on my cell.
Blessings to him for never calling.
Lucky me.

Right now
I sit and think of all the times
When things happened that could have been worse
Or even when things didn't happen that could have.
In each case, I missed something.
I wasn't paying attention.
In each case, I thank my lucky stars and vow to improve.
And yet it happens again.
Why? What is it about me?
Focus.
Focus, Angela, focus.

I am carrying precious cargo.
I am going to be better.
My "perfect record" restarts now.
Who would have thought driving would be so hard?
I really have something to prove.

Thank you drivers, for being patient with me.
For forgiving me, time and time again.
Blessings to you.
I will earn your trust.

perspective

Today was a wonderful day, where I was surrounded by people I love. Laurel was blessed in Church today by her Grandpa Gottula. My parents (Grandparents Twining) and Grandparents Gottula were in town, staying in our roomy rental home and spending time with us. Wesley is in hog heaven with all of the attention. Laurel is a loved little princess. It's been wonderful.

Grandma Gottula (my mother in law) made her a beautiful blessing dress and some shoes. One of my sweet girlfriends gave us a baby bonnet that came with a little poem; it said the bonnet can be worn on the blessing/christening day, then be turned into a handkerchief that can be carried on a wedding day. So cute.











In true celebration fashion, Laurel even got a face cake. We did this for Wesley and so of course we had to do it for her.




My mom has been here for a few weeks. I'm scared to be on my own again!! Things have been getting easier, but it's still challenging. Laurel is still a night-owl, either not going to sleep until 1 or 2 am (seriously), or going to sleep early but then wanting to play from 2 to 4 am. Wild!

A couple of experiences lately have really helped me to have some perspective on what I've been feeling lately.

I.

When I'm up with her in the middle of the night, it is easy to be stressed. I've cried in frustration. I've said some unpleasant things to little ladybug, wishing she was sleeping. But then I think about a woman whose story I read in the recent Ensign magazine. Her daughter was born stillborn on her due date, and she and her family were absolutely devastated. She brought home an empty pink baby blanket, and her son said, "hello baby sister," to an empty blanket, and she just shed tears of sadness. She had quite a journey ahead of her, finding peace with what happened to her baby.

So when I am up in the middle of the night, realizing I'm only going to get a total of four hours sleep (like I did today), I think about that woman. I think about her and how she would give anything to trade places with me. I am so absolutely blessed to have a healthy, happy, alert baby. Even in the middle of the night, I am happy to be exactly where I am.

II.

Recently I was chatting with a girlfriend who has her fourth child. Her oldest three are boys, and she finally got her little girl, who is about 6 months old now. I was telling her how awfully tired and frustrated I feel in the middle of the night sometimes, and how I just wish Laurel would go to sleep already. My friend understood my frustration but said in all honesty, she feels the opposite -- the only time she gets to be alone with her baby girl is the middle of the night. She loves the quiet serenity that is that time of day, where there are no distractions, no busy little boys, no loud noises, no craziness. She genuinely enjoys those moments. I was humbled to hear her perspective, and realized I too can appreciate those quiet, middle-of-the-night moments.

III.

The other day was interesting. I actually got a call from the CEO at my old job asking me if I was interested in working part-time at all. He said my name had come up in respects to a job opening he knew about, would I be interested, what were my plans now that I had kids, etc., etc. I was quite floored that he thought of me, and that out there in the professional world I have a reputation (or something!) that maybe will get me some job prospects if I'm interested. And maybe I since we are buying a house, it would be useful to have some extra cash!!

But that isn't where my story gets interesting. Later that day I had Laurel on a blanket on the floor and I was playing with her, dangling a toy over her head and babbling with her. Wesley was jealous of our little time, so he laid down on the blanket next to her and was being all cute, playing with the toy, too. I had my two "babies" on the blanket and I was overcome with joy.



Later that day, my Mom and I were talking about this thing one of my friends does in her home called "Highs" and "Lows." Every night at dinner they go around the table and all of the kids and parents say what their high for the day and low for the day was. I love the idea. Shane and I did it for awhile, and we totally should do it again. I thought about it and told my mom that my High was when my kids were on the blanket together and I was so happy. She was surprised and said, "your high wasn't that phone call from work?"

And I realized -- Whoa. My High was my kids. Here I had received a flattering and interesting professional phone call, but even that was eclipsed by the sweetness of my children.

It's been quite an experience becoming a mom (again), and I'm grateful for every moment I have with these little people. I can't wait to see what Wesley and Laurel continue to become. I am so blessed.

They are only little for so long, I must enjoy this! Even in the middle of the night!