ode to drivers everywhere

Ode to Many

Here is a poem
so carefully crafted
to thank those who have forgiven me for my awful driving.

I'll never forget my first victim
Mere weeks after earning my learner's permit
My mother's minivan backed into his pristine Mercedes
in the Church parking lot.
He was visiting from out of town.
My eyes filled with tears.
I was so sorry. I was so young.
He was so kind. He told me to forget about it.
He should not have let it go.
Lucky me.

Last year
After taking Wesley to the doctor
I followed a cream-colored minivan in a right turn lane waiting to merge
I thought she was merging; she wasn't.
Her bumper was already really scratched up
No one could even tell what damage was mine.
I still felt terrible. She told me not to worry about it.
We went on our way.
Lucky me.

At Greenlake last summer
I "San Francisco love-tapped" a blue minivan
with carseats galore and fast-food wrappers.
The damage was minor, just indents from my license plate screws.
I felt compelled to leave a note
although not many people do.
Blessings to her for never calling.
Lucky me.

Just months ago
On my way to drop off my son at a sitter
I thought I knew the person in the car next to me.
The light turned green; her lane started moving.
So did I.
But my lane was not moving.
Once again, those license plate screws left noticeable indents
in the bumper of a nice, new, black Hyundai Accent.
Yikes.
Wesley was in tears. He repeated through his sobs:
"We do not crash cars! We do not crash cars!"
The guy was on his way to work; he was late; he had to go.
What a mess I had made.
He said not to worry about it. He didn't even get my number. He didn't have the time.
I cried too. He should not have let it go.
Lucky me.

Just weeks ago
In bumper-to-bumper traffic on the Interstate
I was driving my husband's car, with automatic transmission
I wasn't used to the quirkiness; I wasn't used to how it idles along
when my foot isn't on the break.
I barely touched the silver Honda from Canada.
He got my number, but the damage was barely there.
For days afterwards, my heart jumped when an unrecognized number came up on my cell.
Blessings to him for never calling.
Lucky me.

Right now
I sit and think of all the times
When things happened that could have been worse
Or even when things didn't happen that could have.
In each case, I missed something.
I wasn't paying attention.
In each case, I thank my lucky stars and vow to improve.
And yet it happens again.
Why? What is it about me?
Focus.
Focus, Angela, focus.

I am carrying precious cargo.
I am going to be better.
My "perfect record" restarts now.
Who would have thought driving would be so hard?
I really have something to prove.

Thank you drivers, for being patient with me.
For forgiving me, time and time again.
Blessings to you.
I will earn your trust.