on running

I wonder if anyone finds it funny that my iPod can play Linkin Park, followed by Taylor Swift, followed by Chamillionaire, followed by Bon Jovi. All very different types of music and all very fabulous for running.

When I went to bed last night, I told myself I wasn't afraid of running. I kept saying it over and over again. I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid, I can do this, I can do this. This morning when I woke up I realized I'm a faker. I was a definitely afraid of this run.

My friend Marianne (hi!) once said her favorite runs were the 6 to 8 miles. I wondered if she was crazy? But today, out there on my 7 miler, I actually had a good time. I did a lot of thinking. I really enjoyed it.

I liked Kelly Clarkson's song, "Stronger" :  "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone." One, if I survive this half marathon I will definitely be stronger. *If* I survive. Two, even though I was alone this morning (and missing my favorite running buddies), I didn't feel lonely. I had my thoughts. I felt rather engaged in my head.

Maybe the only reason I'm afraid of running is because I'm not doing enough in my down-time to prepare. I'm still cheating. I'm eating chocolate chips straight from the bag. I know I shouldn't eat 3 bowls of Honey Grahams at 9 PM, but I do it anyway. If I can be strong enough to get a control on this, maybe I'll be able to see running as more complementary to my success and be excited about it.

At one point, everything hurt. I have some blisters healing. My knees were a bit achy. My ankle at one point was uncomfortable. My legs felt heavy sometimes. And I push through, and in the end I was feeling so great! Wow! I think if you're mentally ready, you just realize you have to "get used" to running. It's like my brain is saying to my body, "get comfortable, we're going to be doing this for awhile."

You know how the night before you have to catch an airplane early or get to a job interview you never sleep well? Like you're anxious about it, or worried you'll sleep through the alarm? That is me the night before a long run. I never sleep well.

I KILLED IT this morning. I feel SO GOOD. I didn't walk at all! I only went about 11 min/mile which isn't my goal, but I was consistent and I DID IT. Seven miles, under the belt. This week was a hard week, I did 3 on Monday, 4 on Wednesday, 5 on Thursday, and 7 today -- 19 total! And I did it. We're on our way....

garden update

I thought maybe it was time for a GARDEN UPDATE.

Things have um, been going well, as you can see :-)

Radishes are a big winner, they mature in 20-30 days so we've already eaten all of them and planted more. The snow peas also matured and we ate pretty much all of them. It got to the point I went out there every day and picked a dozen. That was fun and I was getting used to it. Now they're all gone, sigh. I wonder if more will come in? The strawberries were June-bearing so they're done, too. In fact, several of my strawberry plants are now "running," which is a fancy thing where they are like, wanting to spread to other parts of the garden, and I'm desperate to plant them IN THE GROUND instead of pots. It feels cool to invest in the future, so to speak, with these little plants. I just need to commit to a spot.

Our slow growers are green beans.... taking forever but we are getting some on the plant now, getting bigger. Green onions also take forever. Sheesh, like 120 days to maturity. So they're chugging along.

The garden bully is zucchini. We've harvest a couple zucchinis so far which has been fun, and now on one of the plants I counted SEVEN growing. The leaves for that plant are just so darn big.

Our disappointments so far:

• Pea pods -- they just kinda shriveled and half died but we got some. And we're still getting some, oddly. They didn't grow up on the lattice nearly as well as the snow peas did. 
• Lettuce -- I don't know why. It's only supposed to take about a month to mature, but we have teensy leaves and it's not that fancy. Maybe the bully zucchini plant is covering the leaves so they're not growing?
• Raspberries -- I put our starts in a planter pot and forgot to unplug the stopper on the bottom, so they drowned I think. I hear they are rather hearty (they're invasive after all), so all I need to to is find a spot in the ground for them and they'll come back, too. But nothing this year. 
• Cherries -- Our poor cherry trees. The crows ate all the cherries. Literally I ate one, and Laurel had maybe four. All the rest either fell off and rotted or the crows ate them. There are NONE left on the tree. So strange. Last year I had enough for a fancy slab pie and this year, nothing. If the crows go after my plums I will buy a shotgun.

The remaining unknown is carrots. They're still growing. Nothing to report there.

Here are some of our harvests. The carrots I pulled waaaay too early but I just wanted to see! Everything has been great. Laurel ate the strawberries as soon as they were even remotely red. She also wants the snow peas right off the vine. That girl will eat anything. 

"The gift that keeps on giving" award goes to the soil in general, which has produced all sorts of wild mystery plants that I've identified one by one. The first mystery plant is in fact edible -- red potatoes! I've got a bunch of them growing now. Pretty cool. It took some detective work to figure out what they were, and in fact I pulled several of them, but the big one I left and it's producing real food. I also have had a decent amount of mystery weeds that I let grow, wondering if they were something special, when in fact they were weeds. A couple google searches of "Pacific Northwest weeds" burst that bubble. I currently have two I am trying to identify, I can't bring myself to pull them until I know what they are, although I'm certain they've got to be weeds. 

Well, that's my report. I'm actually keeping a "garden journal" which is cool and documenting this summer's growing exploits. 

hastening

Warning, this is a personal post!! But I've been greatly affected lately because of spiritual things, so here we go. I've been humbled recently thinking about how things are changing. Yes, the world is kinda crazy and it seems like the only way it's headed is downhill, but I think I know better. Not everything is headed downhill.

 The Church has called it a "hastening," as in, "hastening the work of salvation." Since they changed the age for young people who wish to serve missions from 19 to 18 for men and 21 to 19 for women, more missionaries than ever are now out in the field and more work is being done by missionaries and members everywhere.

In April's General Conference several talks inspired me to be mindful of the miracles that the Lord is enacting, miracles of people coming to Christ and finding truth in the gospel. In one, Elder Neil A. Andersen said that just as the Lord is inspiring young people to take the time to serve (1.5 to 2 years out of their young lives!), the Lord is also inspiring people to hear the message who maybe wouldn't before.

I feel stunned, because I have seen this in my own life. In the last 6 months my life has completely changed, and it's for this very reason. The Lord is "softening hearts" all over the world, but more importantly, he softened a heart in my own home. I'm living this miracle. I'm living this hastening.

You see, my husband -- whom I married in the LDS temple in 2003 -- had been inactive since 2005-2006. It took a lot of prayer and consideration for me to decide to even stay married after this "bait and switch," but I decided to stick with it. We had a baby in 2008 and another in 2011. Things have been hard. Really hard. Multiple times I went to the temple and said to God, "OK God, I'm ready to be done with this. Please just let me know that decision is OK," and time and time again, I got the same impression to "just hang on." Stick it out, work on my own faults, be more charitable. I hesitate to admit that these were answers I didn't want to hear, but I listened. I hung on.

Having two kids to care for in Church alone was tough. In my last ward, a young woman who I loved would sit with me every week to help me. In our new ward, I was all alone -- and felt like such a spectacle -- until a nice woman whose children had all grown came up to me and said she had noticed me and wanted to sit with me and help me. She and her husband became my "helpers." They were seriously angels from God during the time Laurel was an infant.

And then.... the hastening happened. It was January 2013. I'll tell you, this year is shaping up to be the awesomest of my life. It didn't happen at all like I imagined it would (and believe me, I had imagined it plenty of times). It happened on Shane's own time -- I suppose in God's time. He made the decision to come back when he was all alone, the kids and I were on vacation visiting family. It was magical to come home and see a change in his eyes and realize the Lord had touched his heart. I didn't want to believe it at first because I didn't want to be disappointed, as I had at certain times before, but as things have progressed I realize this is real and I feel so happy. I just want to pinch myself. Going to Church as a family, watching Conference as a family, having Family Home Evening together, just sitting and talking about spiritual metaphors and observations and questions with him has been AMAZING. I AM SO HAPPY. What joy, what joy, what joy fills my heart. Just today I looked over at him during Sunday School and got teary eyed. This is so exciting.

I can't explain how I did it without him! Just the other day I was thinking about being at Church on my own with the kids and I realized there must have been other unseen angels with me. I know God was with me, helping me keep them calm and allowing me to hear the messages and be uplifted during the hardest part of my life. (It was hard.) So many people came into my life during those years who touched me, helped me, strengthened me. I hope now that those angels (literal and figurative), that calming influence, and that Spirit can now go on to support other members needing comfort and wanting strength.

Truly, a miracle has happened in my own home. I believe I am part of the "hastening." Just recently my mom told me about a man my dad works with who has been inactive for years and is also coming back to Church. A woman I used to visit teach (who I LOVE) but who has been inactive for awhile (despite my best efforts!) is also gradually coming back into activity thanks to her family members (and the Spirit, presumably!). I am SO EXCITED to see these incredible changes, and to tangibly feel the Spirit touching people's lives.

And then I go back to that quote by Elder Andersen.... some people are being inspired to hear the message now who weren't before. Any of my friends? co-workers? neighbors? People I've talked to about the gospel before, but who were not interested, but now feel the stirrings in their hearts? It's a daunting task.

Just this week I was at a park with two mommy friends and their kids and out of nowhere, there were two sister missionaries!! Instead of feeling inspired to share with my friends, I sorta froze. I kneel in prayer at night and ask for missionary experiences, and here was one where I could have introduced my friends to the sisters and maybe something pleasant would have come out of it, but I just bombed. The Lord isn't going to give me any more opportunities if I won't act on the ones I get. Sigh. I went away feeling totally awkward and discouraged, thinking my friends think I'm nuts, but in reality they probably didn't notice a thing and it wasn't awkward for them at all. We're still friends. I care about them. We'll see. 

I remember a friend I had in Seattle told her conversion story, and she knew a man at her work who invited her over and over and over again to Church activities. She politely said no over and over, until one day she said yes. It took multiple times but that man who invited her must have had the Spirit with him and knew she would accept the message. And she did! She was in the Relief Society presidency! It makes me feel like I need to keep asking people....

The Church recently had a broadcast on missionary work, and I was able to watch it with Shane. Overall I just felt like that in the same way the Church "raised the bar" for missionaries (raising the standards of who could serve), the bar is now being raised for us members. We need to do better, be better, live better. Instead of just having a "checklist" to follow for missionary work, we need to be receptive to the Spirit and invite it into our lives and the lives of our friends more. Live by the Spirit. Listen to it. Heed it.

Daunting task, yes.

So I will continue to pray for opportunities, and I'll also pray that that Spirit will strengthen me and help me when I need it. I know this is real, I KNOW these miracles are happening. I can't deny it, and anyone who knows my family and has seen the change inside the walls of my very own home can't deny it either. The Bishop once told me about Shane, "He looks GOOD. Every time I see him he looks better and better." And he does! My handsome husband just looks DIFFERENT. I hardly recognize him. I feel SO BLESSED. So happy.

Believe me when I say things are changing. And yes there are riots on the street because of jury verdicts and Supreme Court cases, and things seem unsettled... but I know a work is being done and it's being hastened by powers I can't fully explain. Things are getting better. As much as I wanted this, I didn't dare expect it. And that's exhilarating.

prized recipe

I need to put this somewhere. So here it is.

This is a sure-fire play-doh recipe that I use all. the. time. I got it from Wesley's preschool. It lasts quite a long time as long as it's kept airtight. As it dries out you can just chuck it, or if too many hands get into it and it's germy you can use it for other things like making baking soda & vinegar "volcanoes." The other nice thing is that it's made with, you know, ingredients, so if kids/babies eat it they won't ge hurt, they'll just get a mouthful of salt. We have a good time around this place. Wesley is ADDICTED to play-doh, and I love that Laurel is taking an interest too. One of my mommy friends knew we were crazy about play-doh and just gave me a HUGE BIN of play-doh accessories that'll bring my children great joy. Now to find the time to sift through them and find them a place to live in our toy chest....

(These are from February 2013...)

(Wesley says, "no Big Airplane, you may not eat play-doh!)

(And a few from December 2012...)

 

Yes. We do play-doh several times a week now.

And now the main event here.....

First:
Heat to boiling 2 cups of water
Add 3 tablespoons oil
Add food coloring if you want (to match your kool-aid below, I recommend it for deeper color)

Combine:
2 1/2 cup flour
1 cup salt
1 Tablespoon cream of tarter
1 pkg unsweetened kool-aid

Mix wet with dry. Let the kids help but remember it was boiling water so it'll be hot.

Knead, and add more flour if necessary to make it less sticky. Keep in an airtight bag and it'll last forever!

getting away for the 4th

Yesterday was delightful.

We woke up and had cold cereal. I started our BBQ in the oven at 10:30 AM. We took BBQ chicken, corn on the cob, chips, and graham cracker squares decorated to look like American flags to a picnic lunch with some friends. It was delightful and the kids played happily on the play set.

The idiots around where we live started shooting off their fireworks by 9 AM. Nap time was cut short, but luckily there was a nap nonetheless.

Then we packed up. We headed to a hotel barely 4 miles from our house. We checked in, jumped on the beds, hit the indoor pool, got the kids baths, ate Papa John's pizza and breadsticks, made microwave s'mores, and fell asleep in a dark, quiet, cool room by 9:30 PM. IT WAS AWESOME. Shane and I had our respective electronic devices to read and entertain ourselves until we wanted shut eye after the kids quieted down.

All night long, war raged outside the windows of our unincorporated Snohomish County house but we weren't there to hear it. AWESOME.

In fact, we KNEW our neighbors were having a party, since they mowed their lawn, set up a canopy in the backyard, and had the grill and patio set all out. I didn't want to be here. At all.

We heard some fireworks from the hotel, barely-in-the-distance fireworks, really. They were hardly noticeable and the kids slept soundly. Also, the hotel was near the airport, Paine Field, and someone teased me that I'd hear airplane traffic all night. Well, I didn't hear a single airplane after 5 PM. Definitely none of the big Boeing ones. Maybe they all got the 4th off?

When we returned home this morning (after a splendid breakfast and another dip in the pool), the carnage in the 1-mile radius around our house was awful. Firework debris everywhere. And we missed it! We missed it all! YAY!!!!!!!!

I imagine when our kids are older maybe this will be fun, but right now, it's not fun. Laurel is a light sleeper. Wesley thinks fireworks are terrifying. Shane had to work this morning. (Solution? We drove 2 cars to the hotel. His commute today was literally 2 minutes.)

Best $122 I EVER SPENT. EVER. We will probably do it next year.

snippets from the last few days

Since I haven't been posting...

If potato peeling your finger doesn't say Father's Day love, I don't know what does.

We left our garage door open all night last night, by mistake. Luckily nothing was taken, and um, no one entered our house unwelcome. I need to start a texting relationship with my neighbors I guess.

Someone (named Laurel) slept ALL NIGHT last night WITHOUT her pacifier! BIG NEWS! She has also gone two nights with "mommy milk" to put her to bed so maybe she is growing up. Sigh. Sunday was her first day in nursery, too. She got a half birthday present of a KITCHEN and Wesley is playing with it lots, too. He particularly like microwaving food (not using the stovetop). Is this a reflection on my parenthood?

I've set my half marathon training schedule and put it in my phone even. It's on, baby.

We redboxed Pitch Perfect. I liked it and I didn't like it. I have been watching memorable scenes on YouTube over and over and over.

I yelled at Wesley a lot yesterday. Today will be better. No yelling.

I ate a lot of bad food yesterday. Cookies and ice cream. Today will be better. No cheating.

The crows are eating all the cherries on our cherry tree. I'm depressed about it.

That's all for now.

happy birdsday

I have seen the enemy and it is a lime green pig.

When I realized my sweet son would be turning 5 (more on that in a future post), I considered that *I* remember my 5th birthday party. I can see me and my friends in my living room on Craft Street. A boy named Brian from Church gave me a yellow My Little Pony. I REMEMBER IT.

I felt like I needed to give Wesley a 5th birthday party, because he might remember it. This is powerful stuff, people! I can't walk around in my undies anymore! My kid could remember these things!

A couple months ago I asked Wesley what kind of party we should have. Legos? Water? Cars? and it occured to me that we love Angry Birds in this house, especially Wesley. I sat Wesley on my lap and we Pinterested "Angry Birds birthday" and I got freaking giddy. The plan was made.

I finally settled on a date like, um, earlier this month and sent out invites....

I did them one-by-one over email.

I intended to do everything by hand.... make pizzas, make a cake, make a pinata. I had all the recipes and ingredients and tools. What I didn't have was perfect timing and health. We got back on Wednesday from our weekend to Grandma's in the TriCities to celebrate Wesley's actual birthday, and I hadn't done much of anything yet, PLUS I was sick. So I canceled all my plans and did nothing on Thursday. By Friday I was barely functional and stumbled through a huge trip to Winco for food, the Party Store for the pinata (not homemade, oh well, thank goodness Angry Birds is a hot party theme), and the Dollar Store for last-minute randomness.

My living, breathing to-do list was in the iPad. Awesome.

Preparations included:

• Download and install the Angry Birds font (this actually um took me forever)
• Make Angry-birds-colored play-doh (THREE batches... I ran out of cream of tartar)
• Print Angry Birds coloring pages
• Collect cardboard boxes for our Angry Birds game
• Buy Angry Birds licensed pinata filler on eBay to get the better deal (I got teeny erasers shipped from China, no joke)
• Make, assemble, and decorate cake (3 hours alone for steps 2 & 3)
• Clorox wipe the bathroom 
• Decorate pizzas (you'll see!)
• Decorate/personalize goodie bags
• Stuff that pinata -- check out my little helper:

When I was a kid, I just got a couple birthday parties. I think my kids can expect the same. I remember 5, then 8, 12, and 16. All good transitional ages, and reasons to celebrate. Soooo what I'm saying is, don't expect me to do this every year, kids.

I first made a guest list of 40 friends. Sheesh. Our circles keep getting bigger. There's mom friends, Church friends, old Church friends, preschool friends, more. I narrowed it down to 22 kids, plus anticipated extra siblings. Our attendance was *drumroll* .... 13 of the 22, plus 7 siblings to equal 20 guests PLUS Wesley making it 21 kids total. Several moms & dads also came which was awesome.

Soooo without further adieu, the photo summary!

PIZZA!

We had three of those bad boys. SO FUNNY!!!! When I decorated them this morning I actually laughed out loud. (I bought cheese pizzas from Winco and decorated myself.)

We also had lots of fruit and a veggie tray.

GAMES!

When kids arrived I had coloring pages (not a huge hit), play-doh (better reception, and one of Wesley's favorite things ever), and Sharpies for (supervised) decorating of our helium balloons to be Angry Birds. Some kids were so proud of their decorated balloons! They could take them home.

Outside was the standard swingset and running amok (no planning there), but my Angry Birds game was big pile of cardboard boxes, green "pig" balloons, and playground "Angry Birds" balls. FUN!!!! Thanks to Shane and another dad who reconstructed the towers again and again. Some kids actually started setting up the towers themselves, which was very industrious!

DECORATIONS!

Didn't do much here. Didn't even go for crepe paper or balloons on the mailbox. Just swirlies inside. The "Angry Birds fairy" came after Wesley went to bed last night.

THE CAKE!

Hot dang. LOVE this thing.

The chocolate-chip cake was a double batch from scratch, which took forever and hurt my arms. Luckily my cake pans are like 7 inches, smaller than everyone else's in the world, so I could borrow some 9-inch ones and it was just PERFECT.

Used 3.5 tubs of frosting. Piped every single droplet on there.

The eyeballs are just printed on cardstock, with clear tape as a backing to protect them from the icing. I just stuck them on there like glue.

Much loved by all.

This was a cute family photo but OUR CAMERA SUCKS. It's blurry. Look how happy we are.

Wondering where Laurel is? She slept through the entire party. She was cranky-pants just 15 minutes into it (too many people? genuinely tired? wanting momma who was raving-lunatic busy?), and went right to sleep. Lucky me! She slept until after everyone left.

PRESENTS!

Thanks to our friends. Everyone was so generous. We got two nerf guns, two water guns, some educational toys, a stomp rocket, and more. My favorite gift was a box of Space Angry Birds band-aids.

Wesley's favorite gift? The mylar balloons Shane picked up from the Dollar Store last night. He's done nothing but tote them around the house and play with them and love them. He's really into balloons. Cute kid.

Mom & dad's gift today was a bike. We gave him a few presents this past weekend too (new underwear, new pants, a big bag of hand-me-down plastic dinosaurs), but this was the big one we were saving for the party.

And last but not least....

THE PINATA!!!

First, personalized goodie bags.... putting my free font to good use....

Yup, I cut out 24 Angry Birds faces, plus bellies, and glued them onto colored paper bags. AWESOME.

The pinata rocked. It was full of GOOD STUFF:

• a party pack of 48 Angry Birds items (kaleidoscopes, fuzzy balls, mini frisbees and the like)
• Angry Birds stickers (and some generic Dollar Store stickers)
• Angry Birds erasers
• gummy worms in Easter eggs (get it, worms and eggs, hahahahaha! I felt clever)
• plastic worms and bugs
• teeny generic play-doh canisters
• lollipops
• tootsie rolls
• Reese peanut butter cups (you reading, dad? Wesley was allowed to pick ONE chocolate item from the bulk bins and this is what he picked!! He does you proud)
• a couple pencils (I realize this could be an impaling hazard)

That might be it. The dang pinata was FULL and HEAVY. We had a hard time finding string to hold it up. 

I wanted EVERYONE to get a chance, so everyone got two swings blindfolded. Our weapon of choice was a hockey stick.

After I knew everyone had had a chance, we let kids go at it not-blindfolded. Even the meek and mild took a swing (there were a couple really sweet, quiet girls who made good contact!). It actually took longer than I thought, and some dads helped move it all along.

The hot item were these tiny Angry Birds clappers. The girls were so excited. I just loved to see them excited.

That's what this was all about for me. I LOVE TO SEE THEM EXCITED. It was so great.

I had SO MUCH fun. I love my friends and I love Wesley's friends. I love Wesley and I can't believe my sweet boy is five. We had an AWESOME time. I seriously glowed for a few hours after the party, even as I picked up every room, shred by shred. (Shane helped. Some. Our house has never been this clean, haha.)

What a wonderful day! The sun came out and there was much laughter. I feel like the luckiest mom alive. It was an honor to celebrate Wesley today.