Monday, August 4, 2008

warning: graphic post below

I am tempted to blog about the messiest diaper in the world.

I could mention something about how I heard Wesley take care of business toward the end of the first hour of Church, and I decided to wait until the end of the meeting to change him. I could mention how it smelled so bad, I was worried the people sitting behind me were giving me evil eyes. I could mention how when I opened up his diaper I saw more and more poo than I have ever seen in my life. I could mention how it got all over his clothes. I could mention how, as I started to strip him of his now poo-laden clothes, he started crying bloody murder. Then, I could mention how it got all over his back, arms, legs, and feet. I could mention how I ran out of wipes and had to start using paper towels soaked in cold tap water, which was even less pleasing to the little man. I could mention how his head was even falling off the cushy changing pad and hitting the countertop but I had to live with it because better he have a semi-concussion than get himself re-smeared in poo. I could mention how I finally got him clean and picked him up, as naked as the day he came, to inspect every square inch of his tiny body for poo remnants. I could mention how I am so glad my friend Michelle made it to Church that day, since I let her borrow my "spare" onesie from my diaper bag last week, and I forgot to pack another spare, but she luckily returned it to me just 30 minutes earlier. I could then mention how, even though I used a disposable changing pad on top of the cushioned changing pad, and promptly disposed of it, I felt compelled to wipe down the Church's changing pad with hand soap and paper towels because my little spray bottle of disinfectant was in my OTHER diaper bag. I could mention how I was so freaked out I not only used hand sanitizer on myself, but I put some on Wesley's hands and legs as well. Then I could mention how Wesley was so pooped from screaming at me cleaning up his poop he fell right asleep in the next Church class. Lastly, I could mention the ordeal in cleaning out his little onesie when I got home (the onesie I disgustingly wrapped in a cloth diaper, put in a Ziploc bag, and ignored until I got home), an ordeal which includes rinsing it and letting it soak in a sink for hours, creating some very unnatural-looking poo-colored water.

I could mention all of that, but I probably shouldn't. It's just too gross.

7 comments:

betsey said...

I love gross baby poop stories. It makes me happy to hear that other women experience those same wonderful days. I've had virtually the same experience, except you have to add the fact that our church wasn't air conditioned in LA (it was under construction) and I was SWEATING like crazy (like dripping off my face sweating). Love it!

Megan said...

I have so been there...

Marianne Hales Harding said...

I was laughing all through this post! Emily Lara was an epic poo-er. She had a poo like this one in her blessing dress (thankfully just after sacrament and not just before!).

I will never forget the first morning she woke up happy (instead of screaming for food). We went over to her bassinet and found her in a giant puddle of poo (as in--it filled the entire bassinet and she was splashing in it like she was in a swimming pool). It was so gross. And hilarious.

Danielle said...

We had daily, sometimes more than daily, disasters from months 2-6. Then we magically went straight to constipation. Who knew?
All is fine now...
It looks like Wesley is a skinny little dude. Might try the pampers out (if you aren't). They seem to contain it better in the legs for the skinny tykes.
My worst was at a mall in San Diego with two of my sisters-in-law. My khaki pants, his blow out diaper. Need I say more?

angelalois said...

I just never knew it could be THAT BAD. AND IT IS! Thanks for your tales of woe. Makes me feel better. Marianne, the swimming pool analogy is just TOO CRAZY!

Kurt said...

Kyler has had some really nasty ones. Good lesson to learn though- don't wait because it only gets worse to change it. I remember when he was a new born and he had those tar like poos. YUCK. And they smelled SO GROSS.

Marianne Hales Harding said...

Oh, I know! It was just exactly like we had put her in a little wading pool or a fun bath. She was so happy playing in the "water"---UGH! We were so grossed out...and continue to be to this day!!