octuplets

Some thoughts:

(If you've been living under a rock, the gist can be read here)

• I appreciate that this woman wasn't afraid of a big family. Lots of people are "afraid," I think, of big families. Maybe I'd even count myself one of them. But this woman said, "no, I have a lot of love to give, I want a big family." Good for her. Growing up, I knew a family with 15 kids. They are all healthy, happy, and super thrilled to be in their family. Big families are not bad things. (I always said for myself, though, that I'd have a hard time emotionally supporting lots of kids, you know, getting their names right and stuff. But that's just me.)

• I should, however, mention, that one baby is difficult enough with me and Shane involved. I don't know how she plans to get 8 newborns on a feeding and sleep schedule. But, at the core of the issue, is the fact that I think a mom and dad are both so important to a baby. She is depriving those children of a father, simply because she wanted to do it "on her own." And in this case, as it was in Jurassic Park, just because she can, doesn't mean she should. Not only will it be super difficult, but it's a disservice to those kids. You could say that argument is old-fashioned, and I could say any argument to the contrary is feminist. But after we're done arguing, those kids still will not have a dad. And that's too bad.

• I've read that a reason the woman wanted all six embryos implanted (of which two split to form twins), was because all six were made in the lab and she considered all six children. It all boils down to the when-does-life-start argument. She didn't want any created embryo sitting there, un-implanted, since it would then be a child without a home, or something. I don't know how I feel about that. On the one hand, yes, an xx and xy had been formed and so technically I guess that's a baby, but it's in a petri dish so I just don't know. It's not like it's in a belly. So her argument is extreme, but valid. And I don't know the right answer.

• In the same respects, her decision NOT to selectively abort I 100% agree with. Selective abortion is just just just awful. I read a Dr. Laura book, "Parenthood By Proxy: Don't Have Them If You Won't Raise Them," a fascinating book, which spoke of selective abortion and I shudder every time I think about it. To choose one baby over another is just a terrible thought. I don't know how anyone can do that.

• Is the fertility doctor at fault here? Maybe. Judging by this woman's character, his first mistake was to create six embryos. Maybe he should have only made four or something.

• I read that in a lot of instances when large groups of babies are born, companies like Pampers and Similac and whoever jump at the chance to "sponsor" the families so they have things taken care of. And no one wants to touch this woman with a 10-foot pole. Her publicity has yielded no help (except for maybe a book deal or two). Actually, I feel for her. I wish one or more of these companies would help. She needs it, for heaven's sake. I know how expensive diapers are, and I know it's impossible to nurse 8 babies at once. Is she irresponsible? Maybe. Should someone help? Yes. Does anyone want that someone to be them? Apparently not.

• Other articles have spoken of how the taxpayers of California are going to pay for these babies. That makes a lot of people mad. I guess I can see why they are mad, but what's the difference between these babies and the thousands of others born as singlets to "unprepared" moms who don't care and "work the system" living off welfare? The difference is that these 8 babies have a mom who loves them. Maybe she can't afford them, but she's going to love them. And not give up on them. She has also said, and I have no idea how she plans this, that she doesn't intend to be on welfare for very long.

Personally, the Shanester and I waited until we knew we could afford a baby. That was important to us. Even though that obviously wasn't important to this mom, I am surprised that I don't care. She is completely different than me in her respect for her burden to financially support her babies, and I don't care. I can't really explain my way out of that one. I really feel like she needs help. I want to be mad; logic tells me I should be angry at her for doing this. But as a mother, I'm not mad. Beautiful babies are worth it.

So I don't know the answer. The Republican in me tells me to take responsibility for everything. If I get myself into a pickle it's my own dang fault and I shouldn't expect any help. If I'm smart enough I can handle it.

But here is this woman who totally did not follow my Republican-mantra above, and yet I want to help. Maybe she is totally brainless, but I think she deserves our support. I can't explain it.