perspective

Today was a wonderful day, where I was surrounded by people I love. Laurel was blessed in Church today by her Grandpa Gottula. My parents (Grandparents Twining) and Grandparents Gottula were in town, staying in our roomy rental home and spending time with us. Wesley is in hog heaven with all of the attention. Laurel is a loved little princess. It's been wonderful.

Grandma Gottula (my mother in law) made her a beautiful blessing dress and some shoes. One of my sweet girlfriends gave us a baby bonnet that came with a little poem; it said the bonnet can be worn on the blessing/christening day, then be turned into a handkerchief that can be carried on a wedding day. So cute.











In true celebration fashion, Laurel even got a face cake. We did this for Wesley and so of course we had to do it for her.




My mom has been here for a few weeks. I'm scared to be on my own again!! Things have been getting easier, but it's still challenging. Laurel is still a night-owl, either not going to sleep until 1 or 2 am (seriously), or going to sleep early but then wanting to play from 2 to 4 am. Wild!

A couple of experiences lately have really helped me to have some perspective on what I've been feeling lately.

I.

When I'm up with her in the middle of the night, it is easy to be stressed. I've cried in frustration. I've said some unpleasant things to little ladybug, wishing she was sleeping. But then I think about a woman whose story I read in the recent Ensign magazine. Her daughter was born stillborn on her due date, and she and her family were absolutely devastated. She brought home an empty pink baby blanket, and her son said, "hello baby sister," to an empty blanket, and she just shed tears of sadness. She had quite a journey ahead of her, finding peace with what happened to her baby.

So when I am up in the middle of the night, realizing I'm only going to get a total of four hours sleep (like I did today), I think about that woman. I think about her and how she would give anything to trade places with me. I am so absolutely blessed to have a healthy, happy, alert baby. Even in the middle of the night, I am happy to be exactly where I am.

II.

Recently I was chatting with a girlfriend who has her fourth child. Her oldest three are boys, and she finally got her little girl, who is about 6 months old now. I was telling her how awfully tired and frustrated I feel in the middle of the night sometimes, and how I just wish Laurel would go to sleep already. My friend understood my frustration but said in all honesty, she feels the opposite -- the only time she gets to be alone with her baby girl is the middle of the night. She loves the quiet serenity that is that time of day, where there are no distractions, no busy little boys, no loud noises, no craziness. She genuinely enjoys those moments. I was humbled to hear her perspective, and realized I too can appreciate those quiet, middle-of-the-night moments.

III.

The other day was interesting. I actually got a call from the CEO at my old job asking me if I was interested in working part-time at all. He said my name had come up in respects to a job opening he knew about, would I be interested, what were my plans now that I had kids, etc., etc. I was quite floored that he thought of me, and that out there in the professional world I have a reputation (or something!) that maybe will get me some job prospects if I'm interested. And maybe I since we are buying a house, it would be useful to have some extra cash!!

But that isn't where my story gets interesting. Later that day I had Laurel on a blanket on the floor and I was playing with her, dangling a toy over her head and babbling with her. Wesley was jealous of our little time, so he laid down on the blanket next to her and was being all cute, playing with the toy, too. I had my two "babies" on the blanket and I was overcome with joy.



Later that day, my Mom and I were talking about this thing one of my friends does in her home called "Highs" and "Lows." Every night at dinner they go around the table and all of the kids and parents say what their high for the day and low for the day was. I love the idea. Shane and I did it for awhile, and we totally should do it again. I thought about it and told my mom that my High was when my kids were on the blanket together and I was so happy. She was surprised and said, "your high wasn't that phone call from work?"

And I realized -- Whoa. My High was my kids. Here I had received a flattering and interesting professional phone call, but even that was eclipsed by the sweetness of my children.

It's been quite an experience becoming a mom (again), and I'm grateful for every moment I have with these little people. I can't wait to see what Wesley and Laurel continue to become. I am so blessed.

They are only little for so long, I must enjoy this! Even in the middle of the night!