One of my favorite parts of Finding Nemo is when Marlin is explaining to Dory that he promised Nemo that he would never let anything ever happen to him. Dory, being cluelessly blatant, says (and I paraphase, but I’m sure some of you readers can tell me the line from memory), “well, that’s a funny thing to promise someone. What will ever happen to him if nothing ever happens to him?”
(Sidenote: another one of my favorite parts is where the little classmate of Nemo says “I’m obnoxious!” I love to repeat that line over and over in the obnoxious little voice. Shane always agrees with me when I do.)
(Back to my point.) Dory makes a valid argument. As a new mom, I’m trying to reconcile this with myself! I just look at that perfect little baby, and I don’t want anything to ever happen to him. He bawls when they prick his heel to draw blood, and I wish I could prevent it. He’s upset when he gets so hungry and so tired he can’t think straight, and I wish there was something I could do – instead of letting him figure it out on his own. He sports little battle wounds on his face where he’s scratched himself with his sharp baby fingernails; and no matter how much we file them down or cover them up with baby socks, they always seems to get sharper or he always seems to Houdini his hands out, and he hurts himself again. I wish I could fix it. And, we were so so scared earlier this week when he was thisclose to getting hospitalized for jaundice, and he was rapidly losing weight. If I could have made it all better magically, I would have. I don’t want anything to happen to him.
But that isn’t how life is.
The reason, I think, we have to fight these little battles for ourselves (i.e., our moms can’t save us every time), is because we’d never quite know how good the good times are unless we feel how bad the bad times are.
I would never have rejoiced so enthusiastically to hear my baby weighed 6 pounds 3 ounces after 8 days of life, if the day before had been just a regular day. But instead, the day before, he weighed 5 pounds 15 ounces – meaning he had lost almost an entire pound in just a week. I was scared to death! But because of that one scare, that night when we fed him and nursed him and fretted over him, the next day felt so so good.
(Second sidenote: If I lost a pound a week, or two pounds a week, I’d be overjoyed! But for little Wesley, only weighing not quite 7 pounds to start with… it was a big deal.)
I had a friend once who went through an awful ordeal. I remember chatting with her and saying, “well, at least you learned something from all this.” My friend disagreed. She didn’t think she had learned anything. Her ordeal was absolutely upsetting/life-altering/unbearable, to say the very least, and I don’t know how I would have reacted had something like that happened to me. Do we learn something every time something awful happens? Can anyone answer the age-old question, "why do bad things happen to good people?"
All I know is, the absolute joy that comes from meeting a new loved one (e.g., babybabybaby) wouldn’t be so joyous if I hadn’t felt the sorrow of losing a loved one. The absolute joy of feeling like I had lost 15 pounds wouldn’t feel quite so good if I’d never had the realization I was 15 pounds overdue for a weight-loss regime. The absolute joy of finding Nemo wouldn’t be so miraculous and happy unless Nemo was lost in the first place.
Life isn’t perfect, and I think the reason is that we have to have the bad to really really know the good.
I’m blessed to have so much good in my life. May we all not be so afraid of the things that “happen” to us.
7 comments:
Well thought out, Angela. It would seem that you have indeed learned some of life's important lessons somewhere along the way.
Maybe our efforts have not been in vain.
It took me years to learn that it doesn't take years to learn such things as this. Life is 10% circumstance, and 90% how we react to it, IMO.
Keep up the good work with that grandson of mine.
Love, Daddio
Man...sorry you're having nursing issues. We had some of our own, although our little guy was almost 9lbs at birth, so he had a bit of fat to live on - you'd think they'd come out with a little more of a clue as to how to eat. I'm glad things are improving for little Wesley and you just wait, he'll catch up and before long you'll be going "ugg. you're heavy". I remember that those first couple days are SO stressful because you just seriously don't know what you're doing and it all seems so scary.
I love Nemo too, and that convo between Marlin & Dori I find to be profound as well. I really love how well thought-out your blog is. It's like you give a little piece of your heart in each post.
I couldn't agree more... I love the way you use Finding Nemo to make your point. :) By the way CONGRATS he is beautiful!
I remember those nursing days too. They were soooo stressful. I love how you put all together. Nursing has been so stressful for me too. I am sorry. I love the pic's that you sent earlier. You are a beautiful mommy! And baby too!
You have been tagged!
Oh, it just gets worse, Angela! :-) That's the hardest thing about sending the dear girl to school...I remember grade school...and they aren't all happy memories! But it's like I tell Emily Lara when she asks when she will grow up..."You grow up a little every day, honey."
BTW, Emily Lara had similar problems with jaundice and weight loss. It was scary! I remember them weighing her before and after nursing and a particularly calloused nurse saying, "Well, you give her nothing." (English was not her first language!) Giant Postpartum Sobs. Oh, how we worry about those little ones!
I'm just getting caught up on your blog. Have a little more time at the cabin! I love the things you learned from that challenging circumstance. I'm so proud of you and Shane and the way you are handling parenthood. And so glad I could be there with you that first week. Precious memories.
Post a Comment