my favorite joke

A woman decided she didn't like her husband anymore, but to avoid a messy divorce, she planned to hire a hitman. She didn't really know where to start, so she opened the phone book and looked under "Hitmen," and called the first one on the list: Artie the Assassin.

"Hello?" Artie answered.

"Yes, hello, I'd like to have my husband um, disposed of," she replied.

"Well you're in the right place! Just give me the details and I can take care of it tomorrow," Artie said.

"OK. Every day after work, about 5 o'clock, my husband drives his purple punchbuggy with yellow flowers to the Safeway to pick up groceries for dinner. I guess that is as good a time as any to take care of it," she said.

"No problem, will do," Artie said.

"What about cost?," she inquired.

"Well, actually, you're my very first customer. Because I'm new in the business, I'll cut you a break and will do this deal for just one dollar."

"Wow! Thanks Artie," and the plan was made.

The next day, Artie was waiting at Safeway and sure enough, at 5 pm, in came a purple punchbuggy with yellow flowers and out hopped the targeted husband.

Artie runs up to the guy, grabs him by the neck, and strangles him dead.

Meanwhile, a bagger helping load groceries into another customer's car, sees the commotion and tries to intervene. Artie, a total professional, finishes off the husband then turns to the bagger and proceeds to strangle him until he falls down dead.

As this is going on, the store manager calls the police, then tries to save his customer and employee. Unfortunately, Artie begins strangling him as well, and he falls down dead.

The police come and apprehend Artie.

So. What is the headline in the newspaper the next day?

drumroll




"Artie chokes 3 for $1 at Safeway."