- The amount and intensity of baby spit-up is directly proportional to the distance between you and the nearest burp rag.
- Sweet potatoes, carrots, and butternut squash stains do not come out of lightly colored bibs.
- Green foods yield green poo.
- A mother's tolerance for baby drool increases with time. sigh
- Soft baby toys (even with rattles or squeakers) can be thrown in the washing machine and dryer, and they will live. It is not smart to wash soft baby toys in the kitchen sink and let them "air dry," as they will start to mold before they actually dry. Soft toys that make electronic noises should not be submerged. If they are, the electronic contraption will be alright for awhile, until the water seeps into its tiny electronic parts, it short circuits, then it goes off over and over and over again repeatedly. Upon which, you'll have to rip open the soft toy at an appropriate seam, dig for the electronic piece, dry it quickly with your hair dryer, and then kill it. Also: "crinkly" soft toys should not get wet or put in the dryer.
- When a baby is learning to crawl, he will not crawl for you or for some "mere" toy. He will crawl only for something he really wants. Appropriate motivations for crawling include: the cat, the remote control, the digital camera, and mom's water bottle.
- As a baby's level of tiredness exponentially increases, the likelihood he'll actually fall asleep without an intense fight exponentially decreases.
- If you buy, say, a dowel rod, and ask your husband nicely to cut it into pieces for you, he will promise to do so and then a week later instead use it to entertain the baby during dinner by "knighting" you, the chandelier, the napkin holder, the baby, the cat, etc.
- Even though I am so incredibly tired when I take the 5:30 am bus to work, I will not fall asleep on the commute. I sit there and close my eyes and think the most sleepiest thoughts, but it doesn't happen. And then at 6:30 am, I'm at my desk ready to work. I will however, absolutely, fall asleep on the ride home.
- Taking video on a digital camera sucks the life out of the battery very quickly.
- If you don't use your iPod for awhile, even if the battery was fully charged when you used it last, the battery will be dead and you'll need to recharge.
- The fatter the cat, the more she begs for food and the less food you actually try to feed her.
- The longer I goof off on Facebook or read blogs, the more household projects and chores await me when I'm done. It's like they reproduce like rabbits while I'm sitting here at the computer.
And with that, I'm off to get some stuff done. Feel free to add lessons of your own.
4 comments:
Hahahhahha! Is that Gabby I hear serenading us at night!?! stupid facebook!
Hmm...how about when you are trying to teach your toddler table etiquette, then your husband comes home and teaches him how to fence with forks. Or, the number of times your child poops while you are visiting relatives is equal to exactly once more than the amount of diapers you brought with you. Or, the absolute fact that "vacation" with a baby/toddler = "exhaustion" and "no sleep" for parents.
lol! totally true. I think that my addition to this would be: Toddlers either don't understand, or most likely don't care, about how far away and unforgiving the floor is compared to what they are climbing on. The heart attack it gives us every single time goes right over their heads.
I love your list! They are all so true! The last one especially! We all need our goof off time though, we'd go crazy without it. Here's one to add: The longer your preschooler naps during the day the less he sleeps at night.
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