it's beyond rude

What a week it's been. I'll apologize in advance for the tone of this post. I guess I'm scared, frankly, and it's a tough subject to breach.

Up until a day or so ago, I'd only been vaguely thinking about all the public outbursts that have been going on. Then, one news story put them all together as a collective, not just isolated incidents, and I sharply realized that some serious dissin' was going on here:

• Joe Wilson
• Kanye West
• Serena Williams
• Michael Jordan

All that just in a week? Wowsers. Then this morning I read this article in the Seattle Times with a headline of "What's with all the rudeness?"

So. Let's think about it. What is with all the rudeness? Some quotes from the article, and my thoughts:

"[Kanye West] posts an apology to [Taylor Swift] on his blog. He publicly ruined her moment and forever tied [him]self to it. And [he didn't] give her the consideration of saying [he was] sorry personally, but, instead, [he said] it to [his] own fans? ... It was such an inconsiderate way of dealing with the situation."

This is interesting. Kanye West interrupts and embarrasses Taylor Swift (well, he embarrassed himself actually, but it was pretty mortifying for her, as well) at the MTV Video Music Awards, and so he apologizes to his fans whose opinions he desperately values. We don't know if he actually apologized to her. The same could be said about Joe Wilson. He apologized to Obama for his outburst, yet refused to apologize to Congress. In both cases, someone wasn't apologized to who arguably could have demanded an apology.

The lesson here? If you made a mess by being rude, you'd better be darn sure that an apology doesn't come off as rude as well. For Kanye (who I have never thought highly of), at the end of the day, it still appears as if he only cares about himself.

Another incident discussed in the article:

"Even the usually calm, cool Roger Federer used profanity Monday during the men's final at the U.S. Open, telling a chair umpire: "Don't tell me to be quiet, OK? When I want to talk, I talk."

This was the quote in the article that got all this introspection started for me. Look at what Federer (an excellent tennis player) says: When I want to talk, I talk. When I want to do anything, I do it. It doesn't matter who, what, when, why, where, how, I do what I want to do whenever I want to do it.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the problem with society (and people) today.

I truly believe that sometimes it is better to just shut your mouth. Sometimes it's better to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes it's better to just let it go for crying out loud, and realize you are not always right. Sometimes it's better to go against your natural instincts because you are actually wrong and another way is better.

Shane and I have been talking about this lately, and it's kind of scary. Take the environment and cars, for example. We all know there is a finite amount of oil in the world. We all know one day it'll run out. We all know huge gas guzzlers use a lot of oil and aren't helping the situation any. But when it comes down to it, people just don't want to change. We expect the government to regulate the car industries and make automakers more accountable for their vehicles, but the government isn't asking the people to make any changes. Are we being forced to drive less? Bike more? Buy better cars? Invest in alternative energy sources? No, we're not being forced. Sure, we're encouraged to do these things with this "cash for clunkers" program and that "subsidized public transportation" program, but in the end, the American people, in general, are the same as they were in the '70s. Or worse. It appears to me that the people of this country have a standard of life and darn it, they don't want to give it up. And if any government agency tries to make us change, we're going to complain.

I think Roger Federer is saying the same exact thing. If I want to mouth off, I do it. If I want to drive as Escalade even though I have exactly one kid and the vehicle is a larger than a studio apartment in downtown Seattle, I do it. If I want to buy a latte every morning even though I can't afford to pay my medical bills, I do it. No one should stop me from doing what I want to do -- even if it makes no sense, and it would so much easier if I could but learn to control myself a little bit.

The lesson here? Things are never going to change unless we as a society change our mentality. We can't be all about "me." We've got to start thinking of 1) other people!, 2) society as a whole, and 3) how our actions affect everyone else -- because they do. Sometimes when you want to talk, Roger, you just shouldn't.

Did you guys see A Beautiful Mind? Russell Crowe's character, he has this crazy idea. I might get it wrong but I'll try to sum it up here: three guys are in a bar and in walk four girls -- one blonde, three brunettes. Although the blonde is clearly the most desirable, if one of the guys goes after her, it sets off a series of unpleasant events: the other girls get jealous, the guys get competitive, everyone scuffles to pair up, and overall it's a big mess. However, if the three guys each take one of the brunettes, each of the guys end up with a girl, and they are all happy (well except for the blonde, but I'm sure she gets another guy in the bar anyway). His theory was that even though you're not getting exactly what you want (since guys all want the blondes anyway, right?), you are getting something that is good for you and good for the entire group.

Selflessness. Self-mastery. Self-control. I seriously think every problem we have in the world today can be traced back to a lack of these characteristics. Heck, communism would work as a form of government if everyone's intentions were pure. But they're not. People are selfish. They abuse the system. They demand power; they demand their way or the highway.

Back to the article:

"This is the rudest time I have seen," Baldridge said. "We were taught in school how to be kind when I was a child. The schools just don't teach that anymore. We simply have to learn self-control. That's what distinguishes us from our animal friends in the forest.

We think the younger generation has no manners, which is what our parents thought about us, and their parents thought about them."

So what's the answer? I don't know. It's such a hard one. I want to teach my child to be selfless. Not to be rude. To hold his tongue and not hurt other people's feelings. To be a good steward of the environment. To not spend more than he earns. To deal honestly with his fellow man.

But is my son just going to get trampled on in that big bad world out there? I know it's worth it to teach him these values, but are these values just laughable? In the "get-rich-quick" schemes at the peak of the housing boom, did anyone consider that selling mortgage-backed securities wasn't honest? It was making money out of nothing? It was just greed? And if they did realize that, why didn't they do something about it? Then it all fell. I think that's what I mean when I say so much of the world's problems center around this issue. If we as a society could get over ourselves, things would be better.

I'm not immune. I'd like a huge house that I don't need, a fancy cell phone I don't need, a lot of stuff I don't need, power I don't need, a ginormous salary and bonuses I don't need, etc. It's easy to get swept away and feel like I deserve these things simply for being American. I deserve to be able to run my mouth simply for being marvelous me.

So. There it is. We -- myself included! -- need to get over ourselves. We don't have to right to stomp on anyone, or anything, else. As powerful as we are as the human race, you think we should show a bit of power over ourselves.