a hurting heart

For several years, there was a family in our ward at Church. I first met the mom when I was organizing Enrichment activities, and she wanted to do one on card making or scrapbooking, since that was one of her hobbies. She is an AWESOME gal, and was a good friend. She helped me make Wesley's Jesus Book I am so proud of.

Her husband was hilarious. He is just a goof, but super spiritual and a wonderful man and father. He taught Gospel Doctrine in the ward for awhile, and he was also our home teacher. He was a great guy and a friend to Shane. I really appreciated the Spirit he brought into our home. It was at this time that he pondered a career change and went to the police academy, I think it was somewhere south, like Tacoma.

When they first moved in, they had two adorable daughters, who both looked so much like their dad. I had Wesley in May 2008, and they had a son in December 2008. It was BIG NEWS since on his side of the family, he and his brothers ALL HAD GIRLS. Not one brother had had a son! It was exciting. I took them dinner and a few cute boy onesies :-)

Last year, 2011, she had another daughter, and this pregnancy was super tough. I know how it feels to get kicked in the butt by a pregnancy! How happy I was when I heard she had delivered her baby girl.

They moved out last year, after selling their condo. They were like us -- busting out of the seams of their condo! They were so ready for their own four walls. They moved to Camano Island, and he got a job with the Marysville Police Department.

I've talked to them a few times since then; I called her to talk about preschool since I had considered putting Wesley in the same place her oldest daughters had gone. They were happy in their new place with new friends. I miss them, though, for sure.

We rarely watch the news in our house, but Shane was flipping channels on Saturday night when we saw a story about an accidental shooting in Stanwood, a city between Camano Island and Marysville. At first, I thought of another family I know who moved up to Stanwood, and thought, "boy, I hope it isn't them!" Their kids are a little crazy so it could have been possible. I didn't think of my Camano Island friends -- although the news segment showed the scene of the accidental shooting, which clearly showed their silver van, which I had seen many many times.

On Facebook and the news, the whole thing came together in a horrific way. The accidental shooting was in the van. The little boy got ahold of his dad's gun, and accidentally fired it, striking his sister, the oldest girl. We knew no other details, just that she was in serious condition. Everyone reading and posting was absolutely heartbroken. Heartbroken. Late at night, I kneeled and prayed and cried. Boy did I cry. I prayed for the little girl and her doctors, I prayed for her parents, I prayed for the little boy. And I felt like, I really felt like, she would be OK.

I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing with memories and sadness and anxiety. Sunday morning I texted a couple people from Church and learned she had passed away. At first I didn't believe it. I wanted the news to be wrong.

I just can't believe this! I can't! My heart hurts. I must say though, that I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ, and that I know for one, families are forever. She was sealed to her wonderful parents. This life is a teeny blip on the continuum of our existence, and to live without her for the rest of the time we are here is really a short time if you look at it from the right perspective. Second, she was only 7, before the age of accountability. She wasn't baptized into the Church, because in the eyes of God she was perfect. I love this doctrine, and I know she'll be in the highest kingdom of heaven waiting for her family to join her.

This whole thing has made me incredibly patient with my children. I gave Wesley lots of hugs and kisses Sunday, amongst my tears. He kept asking, "Mom, are you sad?" I told him yes, I was sad. He doesn't know why. I guess I always feel like things happen for a reason. God has His plan. I don't know all the answers. I don't know why this had to happen, but perhaps her dying reinforces to the rest of us how precious life is and how precious the moments we have with our families are. I love my children, and now I realize it even more.

The thing that gets me is that this was so sudden, so accidental. Things like this happen every day, all the time, and death can result. We never know when our time is out. We must love like it's the last moment we have.

I'm sad today. I think I'll be sad for awhile. Her service is Saturday.

She used to wear sparkly shoes. Her and her sister had matching pairs. The two girls were the sweetest set of fashionistas you'd ever meet (blame it on their chic mom). A friend on Facebook had the idea that we should all buy sparkly shoes to wear to the service in honor of her. I bought my pair today. They are silver and just perfect. Every time I see my shoes I will remember that sweet girl. I will remember that families are forever. And I will remember to love each moment like it's my last.