When I was considering doing this blog thing, one of my goals was to educate you, the lovely public, on some recent current events and then use this as a soapbox for me to tell you how I feel. Boy, I've got my chance today. Get comfy. (Rest assured, I'm asking for your opinion, too!)
Our news story for today concerns 11-year old Madeline "Kara" Neumann, who had diabetic ketoacidosis, a treatable form of diabetes that left too little insulin in her body. She experienced nausea, vomiting, excessive thirst, loss of appetite, and weakness -- all signs that, hello!, something was wrong.
The problem was, she never knew that was wrong with her, nor did her parents or anyone else, because her parents believed that prayer could help their daughter better than science could, and they did not seek medical attention. After several weeks of suffering, Kara Neumann slipped into a coma and died. (Read more about it here.)
The parents, Leilani and Dale, said it's not that they are necessarily "anti-doctor," it's just that they put more of their faith in God and the Bible, and the Bible says healing comes from God. They fasted, they prayed, they did all they could to put their "faith in the Lord," and Kara died.
Now, authorities and investigating whether to press charges against Mom and Dad for letting their daughter die. Are they right? Who is right?
OK, there are a lot of things going on here, and even though I was never on a debate team in high school, let me attempt to take all sides and explain some thoughts, then you guys can chime in with your ideas.
First, let's look at it from Leilani and Dale's point of view. Maybe they live below the poverty level, or they have had bad experiences with doctors. Maybe the biggest issue is that they don't have insurance and if something is wrong they'll have a several-thousand dollar medical bill to cover. I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they rather not be irresponsible and "work the system" instead of honestly paying for services. They opt for something that is much cheaper, prayer.
A doctor performs a service. I see it as the same as paying for someone to wash your car or mow your lawn or do your nails. You consult a professional and get something of value out of your visit. Can any member of our capitalist society be forced to pay for a service he or she doesn't necessarily want? Sidenote: this is a reason I'm personally against government-sponsored healthcare, but that discussion is for another post (con: would government-sponsored healthcare have saved Kara?).
Second, let's look at Kara's point of view. For me, I'll admit, there are times when I've been sick, but I know what is wrong with me and I make the conscious decision not to go to the doctor because "it's just a bug," or "I'll get over it in a few days." I've felt it before. However, I know something is really wrong when I haven't felt it before.
The issue here is, the Mom and Dad are not 11-year-old Kara. The news article doesn't say what Kara wanted to do... was she begging her folks to take her to a doctor? Or did she just go along with what they were saying, which is "oh, praying is fine, it'll go away in a few days, no big deal."
I'll get personal for a second here and say that several years ago, I had a bladder infection that spread to my kidney. I seriously thought I would die. First, I just had to pee a lot. Then my back started to hurt. Then I started vomiting and got a fever. I had NO IDEA what was wrong with me. When I finally went to the doctor (where they told me I was completely dehydrated and if I'd waited another day I would have needed to go to the hospital) and filled out a form in the waiting room, there was one line that asked "is there anything else you'd like to tell us?" I'm sure they were expecting someone to write in, "I'm legally blind," or "I've had my appendix removed," but instead I wrote, "I'm just wondering if I'm going to die?"
I imagine Kara felt like I did. In which case my argument starts to swing against the parents and for medical intervention.
Additionally, is Kara, as an 11-year old, legally responsible for her own medical care? Or does society expect her parents to make the decision for her? On the one hand, she is a minor, but on the other hand, HIPPA laws have gotten so strict these days that even if Mom and Dad take her in and PAY for the visit with insurance, (from what I understand) they are not permitted to be in the room while she is in consultation, unless she consents to having them there. So, who is in charge of her care? Her? Or her folks?
Lastly, let's look at it from the point of view of the "authorities." Personally, I am a believer in prayer. I've had experiences specifically where members of my family have been healed with prayer. These experiences can be incredibly faith promoting and beautiful. The Neumanns said that they had absolute faith that their daughter would be healed.
I guess the problem I have with that is that that they put ALL THEIR EGGS in the faith basket. I'm a firm believer in the maxim, "Have faith and pray like everything depends on the Lord, but ACT like everything depends on you." I don't think faith and prayer work by themselves. You can't just sit around and hope for a miracle, especially if you DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON.
The Neumanns did not even consult a doctor. It would have been different, in my point of view, if they had consulted a professional, the doctor told them what was wrong and the different options for treatment, they weighed the options, and went with prayer. Instead, I argue, they sat passively by, waiting for the Lord to solve a problem that they could solve themselves.
I had a friend who told me about a friend who had breast cancer. She had gone through treatment after treatment, had aggressively fought her cancer, but was not winning. Finally, she stopped the treatment and started trying "natural" and prayer- and faith-based solutions. Medical science wasn't working for her. She tried another option. Sadly, in the end, I do believe she succumbed to cancer. But, she made her decisions knowing what was out there, what was working, what wasn't, and what seemed best for her at the time.
Kara didn't have that luxury. She had no idea that she was an insulin shot away from feeling well again. If this is all true, the authorities do have an argument for prosecuting the parents. In essence, they let her die. I've seen my share of CSI episodes and know that even if it was an accident, if you don't get help or tell anyone and then someone dies, you're at fault.
So, there are the sides of the story, according to moi. Who's right? Who's wrong? I guess, after all that, I still don't know.
3 comments:
I refer to one sentence you wrote in this piece:
"Instead, I argue, they sat passively by, waiting for the Lord to solve a problem that they could solve themselves."
This is the gist of how the Lord works, IMO. Let's look at a few examples:
When we embark on a long trip, we would pray for protection and safety, etc. But we take the car into the shop, and have it serviced first, and we buckle our seatbelts.
A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "get in, get in!" The religous man replies, " no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle."
Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause "God will grant him a miracle."
With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God.
He drowns. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down." St. Peter chuckles and responds, "I don't know what you're complaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter."
God won't waste his time doing things that we can do for ourselves. There are times when we have to draw on our own resources to deal with the situation at hand.
I blame the parents in this case for their misguided belief that prayer alone would heal their daughter.
Yes, prayer is a good thing. But the Lord brings about many things through the interaction of others.
A proper prayer should have requested that God would direct the doctors to have the skill and expertise necessary to help their daughter's illness.
If there was nothing that the medical community could do, and she died anyway, then no one would fault the parents.
To blindly ignore many avenues of help, they have essentially killed their daughter, much the same as the guy in the flood did to himself.
thanks daddio, I think you know what you're talking about. If you recall my mentioning that I've seen members of my family healed by prayer, you may remember of what I speak. But at the time, you WERE seeking medical attention and not ignoring that avenue for help. thanks for your comments.
I totally agree with daddio about how prayer works and that's how I approach it in my life. I do believe parents like this (the prayer only folks) are misguided. The question then is how far we as a society let people go before we step in. Does this constitute neglect?
I highly doubt it had anything to do with money issues or access to healthcare (ie don't have insurance) or that a little girl who has been raised with this worldview would be begging to see a doctor (she probably had no idea that there was help out there for her--she just felt bad).
I think we hesitate because we don't want people to step in an dictate how we raise OUR kids. I don't know what the proper intervention would be for this sort of thing. I think I'd rather have her unfortunately die with her loving but misguided family than to rip her out of her home to get her medical treatment. Is that awful to say? If I were a friend of the parents I would certainly reason with them as best I could. Ok. That's all I've got on this one.
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