The Shanester is considering selling his fancy pants sports car, a 2001 Toyota Celica. I thought a fast car was a big factor in Shane’s (and mine) aforementioned happiness, and so I was questioning his urge to sell it. Why? Dear husband, if a 175-horsepower go-mobile doesn’t make you happy, what does?
Mental image: My cute husband, sitting on the couch, facing me, lifts his left hand and points, rather slyly and with a reticent grin, to our roly-poly kitty sprawled out on the floor. Gabby makes him happy. She didn’t know what was happening, that all of a sudden the conversation was about her. It’s not money or cars or stuff that makes us happy.
It was really a sweet family moment.
Our thoughts went a bit deeper, in that we discussed that it’s easy to see that money can help buy "non-sadness," if you will; financial security keeps you from a lot of problems, but it can’t necessarily buy happiness. You have to make that yourself.
I remember reading an article about money and happiness, and the essence of the article was that people who are most happy have relationships (families, friends, and I’d argue even cats) and experiences (adventures and memories). It read:
“Doing things can bring us more joy than having things. That's what [researchers at] the University of Colorado found when they asked students to compare the pleasure they got from the most recent things they bought vs. the experiences (a night out, a vacation) they spent money on. Of course... a book that sits unread on a bookshelf is [just] a thing; a book you plunge into with gusto, savoring every plot twist, is an experience. [One researcher] suspects that the people who are happiest are those who are best at wringing experiences out of everything they spend money on, whether it’s dancing lessons or hiking boots.”
That’s the kind of attitude I want to have. Make every day an adventure.
At the end of our lives, we don’t remember our bank account balances; we remember the Christmas where we actually went home and helped Mom make cheesecake. We remember the camping trip where a Nor’Easter practically whipped our tent away. We remember the summer in the backyard where dad sucked yellow jackets out of an underground hive and we sorted their remains into piles of 10 and counted. For fun.
(All this is true by the way. There were hundreds of them. It was fascinating.)
The relationships, the adventures, the laughter: that is happiness. I wish many of each to you and yours.
8 comments:
Thanks, Angela - awesome post.
There were thousands of `em We had counted out a pile of a thousand, and the remaining pile was more than twice as large!
We had sucked up 4 underground nests that summer, with at least a couple of thousand of the buggers from each one. The Shop-Vac got a real workout that year.
That tent was kept in place by a bunch of large rocks, since the ground was too hard to drive stakes into. It was a beach-front campsite, about 50 feet from the shoreline of Buggs Island Lake.
We used to call going camping the "poor man's vacation" since it didn't cost a lot of money to do.
But those experiences in the long run turned out to be priceless.
well said. you guys are awesome!
Yeah for Angela!!! This is such a great post and really reminds me about all the great experiences that responsible spending affords us! I've loved all the fun adventures Richard and I have had, even though our bank account is a little smaller!
I think a nice speedy car is such a treat and something that brings a lot of fun!
I never thought I'd see the day that a cat was more happiness than a fancy pants sportscar for my brother! Now just imagine the happiness of having a dog... (Think George here)
Multiply the cat happiness by.....1000 and you'll see that will happen about the middle of July...
You're absolutely right--happiness is not dependant upon situation. It's a peace that we can seek in any situation. Probably more of an attitude and an outlook than anything else.
BTW, is "daddio" Angela's dad? (trying to figure out everybody's place in the grand scheme of things)
Marianne, daddio is Angela's dad, and my dad as well. This post has definitely been a walk down memory lane. I had an inservice recently at school where the speaker talked about how in the United States since the 70's the level of prosperity has constantly increased. However, the level of happiness has not. Money does not determine your happiness. The only time money makes a difference is when you get out of the poverty level and don't have to worry about what to eat the next day, and even then, some could argue you can still be happy as a begger......
Anyways, I can see how what Angela was saying about spending your money on experiences can help increase your happiness. My wife and I live on my teacher's salary. We are not well off by any means, but we get by. I figure that we would have PLENTY of extra money to buy extra things if we didn't spent all of our money traveling all around the country to see our families. Last year we went to Maryland twice, we went to California for Christmas, and Utah for Mother's day. This year we've already been back to Utah, we're going to California for my brother-in-law's baby blessing, we're spending two weeks in Utah this summer and flying to Seattle to see the little Gottula! It seems like a lot of traveling, but it helps us to stay close to those we love. I agree with Nicole, Angela, children really bring a lot more happiness than cats. :) Not to put down gabby or anything.....
thanks for all the comments guys. life is just grand!
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