day 30

I did it! I blogged every day! I didn't forget a single day! Nor did I pre-post, haha.

Today I am grateful November is over! (Haha.) I am grateful for the chance I had to look inside myself and find sincere gratitude. I am grateful for the memories I can capture here on this blog, and that it's a "journal" for me. I'm definitely slipping with my other journal writings (and I loooove journals), so it's good to have this place to write. I'm grateful I did it!

Thanks everyone for allowing me to do this, and reading along for some of it!

Now, on to Christmas!

day 29

In complete contrast but also complete alignment with yesterday's post, today I am grateful for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Note I didn't say the gospel or prayer or testimony, but the CHURCH itself. The organized religion itself. Some people are TOTALLY against organized religion, which is interesting but definitely their prerogative. Me, I love it. I love every aspect of the "organization" that is the Church. I love the Sunday meetings schedule, all three hours of it. I love the programs -- the Primary, the youth program, the Relief Society women's program. I love how they encourage Scouting. I love that I can get a "calling" and am asked to serve, to do my part to help the ward run smoothly (I love that no one campaigns for callings, nor are callings extended by committee). I love how I learn things by participating in how the Church works. I love how I have instant friends (and a support group) wherever I am.

In my new ward I'm assigned to visit teach a sister who is pregnant with her 4th baby. My companion and I decided to throw her a shower tonight! It was a simply affair, just a slew of desserts and punch, with lots of time to socialize. It was awesome! We had a great turnout. She got a bunch of diapers and wipes and some necessities like burp cloths, onesies, baby wash, etc., and she felt totally special. I don't even know her that well, but it was exciting to be part of such a nice night for her. I made a diaper cake! (More on that to come!) It was awesome.

That's the thing about the Church -- it's a network. It's a group. It's a culture (for better and for worse). I realize that the GOSPEL is MORE than that, and I said I was thankful for the gospel on Thanksgiving (and I definitely am!), but I'm just really thankful for the Church, too. I think it has lots of things figured out right. Must be then true, huh? ;-)

day 28

Today, I'm gonna get a bit sappy, I'm thankful for prayer. I'm gonna be honest, I don't pray enough. Sometimes a whole day goes by and the only prayers I've said are before meals. But the God-honest truth is that when I do pray, I feel it. I feel God sustaining me. I feel Him carrying me. I feel strength beyond that which I have. If only I pray.

Then why the heck don't I do it more? Sheesh. If I know how wonderful it is, if I realize the blessings, why do I fail so often to just ask? I think that's just one of my life challenges, my temptations, that I get too busy and I forget the important small things. I do. I really do. I'm too darn busy.

It's funny I should say that I am grateful for prayer today because of two recent events involving the death of children.

1.

The charges against my friend were dropped today, which is just absolutely wonderful. If you remember, his son got ahold of his gun and shot his older sister, who was 7, and she died. The father, our friend and former home teacher, was charged with manslaughter in the girl's death. It was heart-breaking to see him go on trial, but interesting that the result was a hung jury, 7-4 in favor of acquittal. The judge called a mistrial.

Someone posted on Facebook that "prayers are truly answered" when the news broke that the charges were dropped. And I sat there and thought, seriously, "No they're not. I prayed the little girl would live. That prayer wasn't answered. Only some prayers are answered."

I suppose it's true that the particular prayer for the charged to be dropped was answered, although back in March my fervent prayer to save little Jenna's life was not answered, at least not in the way I wanted. However, the act of praying did bring me peace. I'm grateful I could do it. I'm just devastated she died. I'm still trying to deal with that grief myself. I imagine for her parents, a lifelong journey that includes much prayer still awaits.

2.

My mother-in-law posted a link to a blog the other day for some people who used to be in their ward, and the 18-month-old girl choked on a dried kidney bean she was playing with. This is interesting to me since we also had "beans" (ours were pinto beans) that Wesley loves to play with. He made a HUGE MESS but loved every second playing with beans.

The girl choked on the bean and then was resuscitated, but suffered so much brain damage in the time she went without oxygen that her organs shut down and she passed away. Simply devastating.
I read the mom's blog today and she has a whole post devoted to prayer. Her prayers at home, in the ambulance, at the hospital, as the doctors worked on her daughter. She also said that at first she felt so strongly her baby would make it, but then her prayers changed and she realized it was God's will and she could let go, and have her baby return to Him. How heart-breaking. She gained peace and comfort and can better deal with her grief because of her spiritual experiences during her personal prayer.

I guess that's what it's all about. Prayer gives strength. Sometimes we pray and miracles happen and babies are healed, and sometimes the world crashes down around us and prayer calms us and strengthens. And it's probably the only thing that does, because no amount of words or hugs or even therapy can take its place. There's just something about prayer.

So, today I'm thankful for it. I pray for strength to overcome my personal challenges of mortality, and I pray for my children (and that I won't scream at them), and I pray for guidance and direction. Please God, help me. I can't do it without you.

family photo

Taken on Saturday. I wasn't impressed with the photographer. She didn't get the kids' attention very well, and in most of the pictures where we were sitting down (which I liked better), Shane and I were leaning to the left and it looked ridiculous. I wish she would have told us to sit up for cryin' out loud. Boo.

But alas, a decent photo was taken. I don't love it though. Shane LOVES Laurel's face. Also, interestingly, this was the very first photo taken. It's like as soon as Wesley realized we were gonna be there for awhile he went totally off-the-wall goofy. Oh well.

Happy Holidays!

day 27

It's late. Why must I always do this last-thing?

Today I am grateful for my mommy friends. Oh dear, I am grateful for my wonderful mommy friends.

 (All of us at the one in the middle's wedding.)

Before Wesley was born, Shane and I took a child-birthing class. We didn't really live near the hospital I delivered at, so we took one at the hospital closer. I met 6 other women in that class. One of them I particularly liked, and we had our babies first, out of the 7. She invited me to a New Moms Group at the hospital where we took those birthing classes. It happened to be where she delivered her baby, also.

At that Moms Group, I met 10-12 incredibly amazing fabulous terrific women that I've kept in touch with. When we "aged out" of the New Moms Group, we formed our own group and had playdates and such. We get together for birthday dinners. We get together for kiddo birthday parties. We have had a couple "moms weekends" at one Mom's family lake house. We've thrown baby shower after baby shower for new sibling.  Some of us started a book club! We've been there for each other through emergencies and celebrations.

I've laughed with these girls, I've cried with these girls. I know some of them so well and I consider them my bestest friends. One of them, after her birthday dinner last year, emailed all of us and said she just couldn't believe how the small simple decision to attend a New Moms Group all those years ago would change her life forever. I totally agree. I LOVE THESE PEOPLE.

Sometimes in the Church, I bounce from ward to ward, and I don't really make REAL friends. REAL friends who love you no matter what (it is possible, I believe it! I do have a few!). But, it's not as easy to keep in touch when I move to a different ward and I'm seeing these people every Sunday like clockwork. More often, I make "friends" in my ward, and I'm not really sure we're friends. One gal, I've been trying and trying and trying to make a playdate with her, to just get together and let the kids play, and she cancels on me every single time. I know she's busy, and I get it.... but I also think about this other group, this Moms Group I have, and I really believe any one of them would never make me feel like my other Church "friend" does.  Like I just don't fit in her life.

How blessed I am to have the support group in the Church, where many of us have the same values, AND have this incredible group of friends outside of the Church, where all of us come from different backgrounds and experiences, and YET they are all so accepting and loving and appreciative of all I am and what I offer. We really don't judge each other. We're just a bunch of mommies trying to do our best. They are INCREDIBLE. I love them all so very much.

Tonight we celebrated November birthdays with Thai food and pedicures (I missed the pedicures, but I made last year's November pedicure celebration and you better believe I'll be at next year's, as soon as a certain baby doesn't need me to put her to bed). My wonderful friends bought me dinner and we talked about school districts and the newest babies and Breaking Dawn and the kids in gymnastics. 

I still keep in touch with moms from BOTH groups, the "Birthing Buddies" and the "New Moms." I'm so grateful for these amazing women who make me feel so loved. 






Many more pictures to come. I'll hang out with these ladies forever.

Seriously, one of the group even moved to Germany and one friend arranged for a "baby shower in a box" for her. How cool is that? You can't even move out of the country and lose touch with these ladies. We're a force.

day 26 -- the house tour!!

I'm ready! I am finally ready to document our NEW HOUSE. We have been here 6+ months now.

I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THIS HOUSE.

I. LOVE. THIS. HOUSE.

Is it a money-pit? Yes. Does my husband rue the day he agreed to buy this house? Maybe. Am I still in love with this house despite its flaws? Absolutely.

This is our BEAUTIFUL house with a NEW ROOF and NEW SIDING. Seriously. 

Front entry way.... cat didn't come with the house. Hehe....

To the right is the "living" room... no TV. Big bay windows, which JUST RECENTLY got blinds. I'm still getting used to the novelty of privacy, haha.



 


If you go back, there is a formal dining room with a fancy chandelier, but HA! I have lived in my last home where we eat over carpet. So no dining for us here. I really love this space. It's our playroom/office. It has another set of bay windows, matching the first. Awesome.





(Baby didn't come with the house. She came with us.)

If you go back more, you enter the kitchen. I LOVE THIS KITCHEN. Big island! Big pantry! New fridge! (we had to buy that, though, so no freebie.) Window over the sink! Eating nook! YAY!











Lookie there, some hanging artwork. I love that we can make this place a home.


Next to the eating nook is the "family" room, with a gas fireplace and big windows to the backyard.



 



I love the big trees. There's an old house behind us, on like an acre or something. Shane and I have said that if they ever try to sell, we'll try to buy it. We need to start our savings account for that now, huh. On the hottest day of the year, the sun sets behind those trees at maybe 4 PM, so we get instant relief. Seriously, the orientation of this house is just perfect. We get all the right kinds of light, shade, greenery. I love it.

Through the family room, to the left, is the mudroom/laundry room, which is awesome.





It leads to the garage. A REAL GARAGE!!! That we can park two cars in! In fact, we can park two cars AND a motorcycle in it! We've tried and succeeded. Although most of the time, Shane's car is in the driveway. I love that MY car is in the garage. I've let the baby sleep out there before.





Storage! Curb-side pickup! A BBQ grill! A furnace! This place is amazing.

I didn't get a picture of the hall that connects the entry to the kitchen, there's a big coat closet there and a hall bath. I recently painted it, all by myself, so I had to post pictures!



 

It's supposed to be "Polished Pewter," but really it's um, lavender. I wonder how Shane feels about that. I love it!  (You sense a theme here?)

At the top of the stairs, I feel, the house is almost symmetrical. You can go right, and you come to two rooms, one on your left and one on your right. (Straight is a linen closet. BLESSED! A linen closet! I'm giddy!)



On the right is our 4th bedroom, an exercise/crafts room. Plus lucky Gabby recently got her litter box moved into the closet. (Is it sad we have 1850+ square feet and I can't seem to find a suitable place for her box? I reeeeally like it in the garage.)



On the left is Wesley's blue "airplane" room.



The curtains are handmade. The quilt is handmade (by Grandma!). The lampshade is handmade! I am also working on a book sling for a Christmas gift.





Back in the hall, if you go left at the top of the stairs, you have three doors -- to the left is the hall bath. A real tub! This is our "ocean" bath. I have paint to paint the wall, "Oasis," which is a light sea blue. That's an over-Christmas-break project.

Right across from the bath is Laurel's green "ladybug" room. I love this nursery theme. LOVE IT. (Umm pardon the piles of clothes. Girlfriend is swimming in clothes.)

 

 

 

 

The curtains and wall-hangings are also handmade. The diaper stacker, sheet set and dust ruffle, mobile, light switch cover, and nightlight are from the Target "Tiddliwinks" ladybug set, some of which was acquired from Target, some Craigslist, some eBay, and the window valance, aka closet valance, came from a friend who randomly bought it at Goodwill to redecorate her daughter's room then never got around to and was startled to find it was our nursery's theme. She gave it to me! What a lucky find!

I need to put Laurel's name somewhere. Maybe that's a craft for another day.

Anyway, the third door, at the end of the hall (this makes it sound like such a long hall; it really isn't), is our room! The master! Ahh! Nice and spacious.

 

It's a VERY cool semi-circular window, but we desperately need a blinds covering for it. It got really bright really quick in there in the summer. (Again, pardon the bags of clothes. Those are clothes little lady has grown out of that I'm rationing out among friends. I command all of you pregnant people -- have baby girls!)

We have a master bath, YAY, with two sinks, another tub (two tubs! this house is a dream!), and a walk-in closet. I tell you, this place has everything.

 

Well, almost everything. The one thing I'd love one day is a utility sink. Maybe in the garage.

I suppose my post shouldn't deceive, this house has been a HUGE HEADACHE in many ways. There are so many things we are worried about and projects we've already had to do. Since we've moved in:

• the dishwasher has leaked (we got a lucky fix, whew)
• the disposal busted (still busted)
• we had a HUGE plumbing problem/leak behind the washing machine (BIG BIG AWFUL DEAL)
• our master shower got a new valve/faucet/etc., after breaking on us
• the toilets made funny noises, so we attempted to fix that, which was um, "fun"
• the crawl space gets water in it, especially during big storms (bad news -- still trying to decide how much $$$$ we want to put into fixing that problem)
• the yard is really mushy/marshy, especially when it's rainy; we have drainage problems all around

I feel the need to say I haven't seen an insect inside our place in at least a week. AWESOME!

I love this place. It's a lot of work, and strain on the checkbook, but we're making it work. Shane is threatening that I might have to get a real job (haha, seeing as how a couple posts ago I said I was thankful for my career) to pay for it all. I really wanted this house, and I'm glad we're here, although our Christmas wish is for nothing to go wrong this month. (I pray not only for our bodies to be healthy, but our house to be healthy. Seriously.) We're literally putting our plumber's daughter through college, seeing as how he's been here each month of September, October, and November. We're a favorite customer.

So, today I'm grateful for this awesome house. We've had a Halloween party, hosted friends for Thanksgiving, and will host a baby shower in January! I love that there's room to breathe! I'm grateful for so many things. Some nights I stare up at the ceiling just thinking about all the things I love. I'm so glad we're here. 

day 25

Today I am thankful for:

• Facebook. I am grateful. I really like it. I knew it was awesome even before I found my best friend from high school.
• Pinterest. Wow that site is addicting and awesome.
• Email. Who woulda thunk it? Electronic mail. I'm as excited to get an email as I am to get one in the real mail.
• FamilySearch.org. LOVE using the Internets for genealogy research. (A shout-out goes to LDS.org, thanks for all the resources and giving me a reason to recycle several years' worth of Ensign magazines.)
• Google. I'm a savvy Internet searcher. I almost always can find what I'm looking for. Knowledge is POWER!
• And one step further... Google Reader. All my blogs in the same place? Yes please!
• eBay. My dad was the first person to ever use eBay. He said it has completely changed how he does business. My feedback is now just over 100! (An honorable mention goes to Craigslist.)
• My smartphone. I do love it, even if it's seriously outdated. It'll last a little longer.
• The iPad. So fun. Wesley plays Angry Birds and I am reading the latest book club selection on iBooks, for free! 
• GPS. Blessed heaven I love GPS. 

Technology. We are so blessed. And now I need to get off my duff and work on some Christmas projects. (A recurring theme here? I need to get off my duff? Watch out how technology sucks you in!)

day 24

Today I am thankful for that feeling you get when you're done cleaning. A nice clean house, a clean floor, a clean sink. A fresh set of sheets. A warm blanket from the dryer. LOVE IT.

Currently I do not have that feeling.

I will be getting off my duff momentarily and getting that feeling.

So indeed I am grateful for the opportunity I have to take care of this house.

day 23

Not feeling very thankful. Black Friday was a bust. I did get a few things, but by golly I don't think it was worth it. I'm just gonna shop online for everything else.

Soooo today I will say I'm grateful for leftovers. Some people don't like them. We always like them in this house. Lunch is leftovers every day! Waste not, want not!

One of my friends posted on Facebook today, "The shirt I'm wearing today has a picture of a fridge on it, to remind people to put Thanksgiving leftovers inside of me."

Amen!

day 22

Happy Thanksgiving!!! Today I am thankful for my testimony of Jesus Christ. I remember one girl in high school, I will never forget this, we were standing at my locker one day and she just looked at me and said, "Angela, there is just something different about you. What is it?" I was totally taken aback by her question. I didn't know what she meant. I wish I had realized it then and was strong enough to tell her. It's my testimony. I know I'm a daughter of God. I know that no matter how awful things get, they're still wonderful. I'm alive, I'm blessed, I can find the good in everything since it's God's plan. He knows me. He loves me. He has a plan for me and things he wants me to learn and by golly one of these days I'll figure it all out. I'm grateful for the faith I have.

I'm grateful I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I made a good decision back when I was eight years old to get baptized. I'm SO GRATEFUL for my mother, who basically told my father, when I was born, that she wanted to find a Church to take her baby girl to. I'm SO GRATEFUL that my father, who was inactive at the time, felt some stirrings in his heart and took Mom to the Mormon Church. I'M SO GRATEFUL. I'm grateful for the missionaries who baptized my parents in the early 80s. I'm grateful we were sealed in the temple as a family in 1986. I'M SO GRATEFUL that I know truth. I am grateful the Spirit has spoken to me, whispered in my heart and told me the things that are true, so I can live my life in a way I'm proud of and I know the Lord is pleased with. I'm grateful I've seen the blessings of the gospel every day in my 32 years, even on some of the hardest days. And there have been hard days.

This seems like the most important thing, it's only fitting I'd save it for Thanksgiving day. I'm grateful for my Savior. I'm grateful for the Atonement. I'm grateful there is a way to overcome all hardship. I'm so so so grateful.

 

day 21

Today I'm thankful for BABIES.

I LOVE MY BABIES.

CONGRATS to Leslie & Brad on the birth of Jonah, the newest cutest bestest Twining baby! (My kids are the bestest right?)  He was born at 10:55 this morning!

The fun trivia for the Twining family is that my folks have had one grandbaby every year since 2007.

Kyler, born January 2007.
Wesley, born May 2008.
Leanna, born April 2009.
Ruby, born September 2010.
Laurel, born December 2011 (we barely got in that year!).
Spencer, born July 2012.
and now Jonah, born November 2012!


TWO BABIES in 2012! My lucky folks! I suppose that would mean it's my turn again in 2013, but ahem, that won't happen. In fact, I do believe the Seattle Gottula home is done having babies.

I'm grateful for the sweet smell of babies. I'm grateful for how they trust and rely on their parents completely. There isn't anything in the world as empowering (and humbling) as cradling a sweet little baby, calming it to sleep or nursing it to contentment. I'm grateful that life goes on. I'm grateful that God saw me fit to let me experience parenthood, to have stewardship over these little people. I'm grateful that babies come from love. I'm grateful for the love I feel in my heart, complete unconditional encompassing love that is unlike anything else I've ever felt.

I find it funny that I am quoting Desperate Housewives here, but one of the characters once said that in her life she had fallen in and out of love with many men, but she had never fallen out of love with her children. It's true. Adult relationships can come and go (hopefully not the spousal relationship, I will hold out hope that mine is for forever!), but being a parent is forever.

I tell Wesley all the time, "I will keep you forever." And then he looks at his big airplane and says, "Big Airplane, I'll keep you forever."

I love babies. They'll be my babies forever.

day 20

Ahhh today. Today was hard. I am finding it tough to think of something to be grateful for. How about this: I am grateful for other people, educators and family and friends, who can connect with my son sometimes better than I can. I never thought I needed a "preschool" for my son. BOY WAS I WRONG. The child will not listen to me. But he WILL listen to Miss Andrea and Miss Sarah at his old preschool/daycare, who said he was so well behaved on his first day it was like he had been there forever (whaaaaaaaa?). He WILL listen to Miss Marilyn at his new preschool, oh heaven bless her. He WILL listen to Brother and Sister Henry, his Sunbeams teachers. He WILL listen to Miss Sharon, his occupational therapist who is helping him with his fine motor skills. He WILL listen to Grandma Gottula, who always seems to have lots of energy for how busy Wesley makes her. He WILL listen to Grandma Twining, who played Christmas bingo with him for hours after Laurel was born and I was dead to the world.

He won't listen to me. Well, most days. Some days I get lucky and we work together writing out letters and coloring with crayons and molding playdough joyfully.

Today was not one of those days.

(But to add some more gratitude, it ended on a nice note where I read him three books, an article in the Friend, and several Book of Mormon verses, and then we sang exactly one short song and produced a group-effort prayer. That was nice. But boy I'm tired.)

So thank you. To all of the other people out there who are helping my child become a sweet kid.

day 19

Today I am grateful for my education and my career. I'm grateful to BYU for putting up with me for several years. I am glad I discovered what I wanted to do and felt so great about it. I distinctly remember a moment at school when I was working on a project and I realized that this is exactly what I want to do. This is perfect for me. I loved majoring in Communications. I loved emphasizing in Public Relations. Even my minor in Business was helpful too (although the finance classes were sorta snoozers).

I am grateful for my capstone class and the cool friends I made there. We worked on a cool PR campaign for the BYU College of Nursing. One of my friends still calls me to this day to ask my opinion on grammar or office management or even salary!

I am grateful for my internship at Utah Valley State College in the College Relations program. I made some great friends, I wrote for a magazine, I created press releases, and I had some cool projects in the "portfolio" afterwards.

I am grateful for my coooool job as a copy editor of the BYU newspaper, The Daily Universe. I LOVE COPY EDITING. I love AP style. I love grammar and usage and rules. My how I love rules. Editing is such fun. (I was actually really saddened when I read the Universe was going to digital-only. So lame. I love newspapers.)

I loved my teeeeeny tiny stint at the California Real Estate Journal. Look at me, a journalist for a newspaper in LA! For literally 3 months! I got that job because I was a killer editor :-) I took a "skills test," and then Diane, the editor of the paper, reviewed my test during our interview. She was ridiculously impressed at some of the stuff I caught, and by the time I drove home from the interview she had already left me a message offering me the job. AWESOME. (I just went to find the link to the CREJ and found it folded in 2010. Bummer. The editor they mention in the article, Michael, I worked with him and he's the first person I ever heard use the word "ergonomic" in a sentence. Seriously.)

I am grateful for the amazing job I got at a structural engineering firm in Seattle, at Magnusson Klemencic Associates. I was in their marketing department, helping them get projects by putting together proposals, managing the database, working on exciting marketing/PR projects, and more. How funny that it was another job in the real estate industry? I had an office on the 32nd floor of a skyscraper in Seattle, with a cool view of the water and the Space Needle. Whenever my friends or family came to town, I always took them to the office to check out the view. I LOVED working there. LOVED it. I only expected to be there 2 years; I stayed for almost 8. I worked full-time for 4 years, then part time for 3. When Laurel came along, the day-care-income cost ratio looked less attractive, so I made the hard decision to quit. My last day there was a year ago Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. I'm so glad basically no one was in the office at 6 PM as I cleaned my desk. I returned all my paper clips and pens to the work room, with tears streaming down my face. I loved it there. I loved being appreciated for my brain, for feeling like I could really do good things and make a difference -- and getting paid for it! I understand so much has changed in just a year... two of my co-workers have also quit and been replaced, they renovated the office, AND they hired a gazillion new people in other departments. I probably wouldn't even recognize it. But it stays in my blood, for sure. Whenever I read an article in the paper about this fancy new stadium or that sexy real estate deal, I wonder if the folks at MKA know what's going on. They always do!

And now, I have a small part-time job for another structural engineering organization, a Foundation that gives scholarships to engineering students and puts on educational forums and such. It's funny because I thought I was done with working, but the CEO from MKA called me at home, just a month after Laurel was born, asking me if I'd be interested in something part-time and in the industry. Wow! It's like, they came after me!

I AM JUST SO GLAD I HAVE A BRAIN! I'm so glad BYU helped me cultivate that brain! Lucky me to be pursued for a job! It's been good to have some extra income. This house costs a lot to maintain.

So yes. Thank you all my teachers and professors, thank you to my bosses and co-workers. I am so grateful.

birthday loot

My gifts for this big 3-2:

• Breaking Dawn Part 2 Soundtrack (and maybe a trip to the movie later this week)
• Sautee pan & grilled cheese pan (thank you hub)
• TUPPERWARE (thank you Craigslist! I've decided modular mates will solve my pantry organization problems, and boy am I excited about this)
• Two (2) repaired toilets
• Two (2) poopy diapers from Laurel (she loves me)
• A Dairy Queen mint-blizzard ice-cream cake
• A surprise chocolate cake from some friends (SO GOOD!!! We are "caked out" here)
• A two- (2)-hour nap. WOW. INCREDIBLE. 
• My first Skype call with my brother Kurt & his family! Cool!

Nobody in Church remembered (boo!), but I got a lot of Facebook messages. And all my family called me.  It was a nice day -- I really liked the nap part. Not the getting older part. Now do I correct Wesley when he tells random people in the grocery store that he is 4 and I am 31? Not sure about that yet!

Check out the Tupperware haul. I'm not the only one excited.

Happy November 18!

day 18

Today is my birthday. Today I am grateful for my life, for the 32 years I've been able to experience being alive and all the things that are incredible. Every breath I take comes with adventure. Not all adventure is wonderful, mind you, but it's adventure nonetheless.

Thanks to Mom & Dad for giving me life. And letting me live despite my teenage attitude adjustments. Thanks for teaching me the values I cherish.

Thanks to BYU for my self-confidence, my education, my friends, my husband.

Thanks to all the other educators and co-workers who shaped who I am, shaped how I learn and grow and experience life.  

Thanks to that husband for keeping me for what will soon be 10 years. And hopefully keeping me for more.

Thanks to Wesley & Laurel for joining my family, letting me experience motherhood and all the happiness and tears that comes along with that.

Thanks to my friends, for seeing me for who I am and for loving me and caring about me. Wow. Sometimes the fact that people choose to be with me is astonishing.

Thank you thank you thank you for helping me celebrate today. I'm truly grateful for another year. I've got high hopes for this year so we'll see how things go! 

day 17

Today I am thankful for laughter. I love clean humor. I love things I can share with my kids. Wesley loves the jokes in Rio and we love saying, "guess what!? chicken butt!" He just laughs and laughs.

I remember, at BYU, realizing at one point how incredibly powerful SO MUCH FUN could be. I lived in a three-story apartment complex, and a group of kids was playing this game (for FHE), where one partner would lie down on the ground, face up, and the other partner would go up to the second story and drop an ice cream sundae into their partner's mouth. First, a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Then chocolate syrup. Next, whipped cream. Finally a cherry. IT WAS HILARIOUS. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen and I thought, "BYU? I LOVE IT HERE." I loved laughing.

Now that I'm old and (ah) more tired, I really need to laugh at myself more. I need to figure out how to control my stress so everyone around me doesn't know I'm stressed. LIFELONG JOURNEY, FOLKS. I wear my heart on my sleeve, that's for sure.

But really, I love to be happy. I love to smile. I'm grateful for the optimism I have that makes life so exciting and fun.

I hope for years more of laughter.

day 16

Today I am thankful for pajama days. It is just nice not to be scheduled sometimes.

I know some people who are scheduled. REALLY scheduled. Swim lessons and instrument lessons and preschool and dad & me soccer and ON and ON. I think we are somewhat scheduled, mostly due to Wesley's needs, so yes, I absolutely cherish these down days. When we don't have to be ANYWHERE.

Did I shower today? No. Did we play lots today? YES. Did we watch Rio and play Angry Birds on the iPad and eat chocolate cake today? YES! Did I vacuum my downstairs today and finally do the dishes? Yes! These are precisely the marvelous things that can happen on an unscheduled day.

I love waking up and not having anything to do.

day 15

I gotta get to bed again (aren't you impressed I'm sticking with this? I should like, pre-post or something but never seem to have the time), but today I am grateful for each new day. Every day when I wake up I can start over.

For example, I am grateful I didn't spank my kid today. I tried very hard. There have been days where I did swat his bottom because he deserved it in the worst way, but today was not one of those days. I refrained although he was making me crazy tonight.

For another example, today (and yesterday), I had ice cream at 9 PM. Whoops. That's not a good thing. Tomorrow is a new day. If I can make it through tomorrow without eating ice cream at 9 PM I'll be doing well.

Those are my main trials right now. I think those two things are what I pray about the most -- discipline/kids/motherhood and controlling the temptation to eat every ounce of sugar in this house. I'm grateful for every single day I have to keep working on mastering these things. I suppose I have a lifetime to figure it out, but I'd like to get much of that figuring out done now. It's tough, I'll tell ya.

day 14

I'm tired, gotta get to bed, but today I am thankful for wonderful surprises.

• I found out today that someone I know from Church has the same birthday as me. Exciting!
  
• I came home to a clean house -- Wesley and Dad were busy while I was out at my meeting. Wonderful!
  
• I forgot there were white chocolate Flipz in the back of the pantry, and I took care of that this afternoon. Delightful!

I love the little surprises that life offers. "Tender mercies of the Lord," Elder Bednar calls it. They're wonderful.

day 13

Today I am thankful for our sweet kitty, Gabby. She is awesome. I love her. Gabby first joined our family not too long after we moved to Seattle; we got her as a 6-year-old cat. She is now 15. Insane. She, ahem, was very very fat and is now a very slender kitty. She was the center of our lives and is now amenable to being tormented by two doting children. She does so well with Wesley and Laurel. She can hold her own. We tell the kids, "soft hands! soft hands!" They don't always listen. Gabby has some favorite hiding spots.

Things have gotten tough with an older kitty. She had some "accidents" (so not like her), and we learned her thyroid was going bad so she is on kitty meds. I know, crazy. But a thyroid is an easy, inexpensive thing to fix so it's worth it so I don't have to deal with mortality for awhile. We had her kitty box in the garage, since that was so very convenient, but today actually we moved it in the house for the winter. Even though she has a nice fur coat it's SO COLD out there. So Gabby gets her own room upstairs. Lucky. Even I have to share a room.

Gabby disappeared this afternoon for awhile. That was also not like her and I did not like the panicky feeling I got. She was being coy when we left for preschool at noon, not going back in the garage when she should have, and I was in a hurry so I just left her outside, free to roam the neighborhood. (She has a collar.) Usually she is right there when we come home, begging to be let in. Not today. She didn't show up until 7:45 PM.... wet and hungry. Wow. It even monsooned this afternoon, and I have no idea where she sought shelter. Poor kitty. I didn't like not knowing where she was.

It just reminded me again how much I love her. I really do. Sweet kitty. A few friends have lost pets recently, and I don't like thinking about that. I want Gabby to stick around forever. I think she misses the attention we used to give her that now the kiddos get. Every now and then we have just me and her time, and it's sweet.

Ahh pets. You totally love them. And you clean up their poop. (Well, Shane cleans up her poop.)

day 12

Today I'm thankful for Seattle. I love living here. I read somewhere, was it a newspaper article?, about how when transplants move here they whine and complain for about two years about how much they hate it, then all of a sudden they are completely hooked and never want to leave. Yup, that sounds about right. I really love it here. I love the excitement of the "big" city, how we have an aquarium and zoo and NFL team and skyscrapers and double-decker buses. I love the feel of the 'burbs and my playgroup schedules and the children's museum. I love the incredible summer weather had (love love love!), and the cool rainy falls. I love that we get snow. I love that as soon as daylight savings ends and we're all miserable that it's dark at 5, immediately the Christmas lights go up so we have something spectacular to look forward to. Then after Dec. 21 the days get longer again and we're on our way out! I love it! It works out perfect. I just love so many things about living here. I don't mind the gray. I am a bit crazy.

Funny story:  In college I was obsessed with "the sun" (yea whatever) and thought I'd end up in Phoenix or something, and I semi-dated this guy who was from Seattle and said he wanted to end up back here and I kinda laughed him off, saying "well there's no way THAT'LL work out!"

AND HERE I AM. Wonder if I should find him on Facebook? Haha.  (Ok I just looked, can't find him.)

That's it for now. Love this place. It rained all day.